"[To his father] If you rise up and show that you're not afraid...those people...will no longer have control over your…"

"[On the School TV] Attention, students, this is Max Keeble speaking. First, I'd like to say to my friends, Megan and …"

"[Jindrake: You've acted like a criminal, so I'm going to treat you like a criminal.] [Jindrake points model cannon at…"

"[To Ms. Dingman] If you're ever in the windy city, [Kisses her hand] look me up."

"[Sees a Coca Cola can rolling on the bus floor] Sweet! A can!"

"[To Max] Plausable Deniability...yeah, did you just make that up?"

"[To McGinty and Dobbs] No more being pushed around! No more being stepped on on! No more...Mr. Not...Nice guy!"

"[To Megan in class] McGinty says he's gonna pound me every day for the rest of my life."

"Max...where's your Bassoon?"

"[Looks at his fingers] I can't feel my fingers."