"Don't kiss the dogs ass!"

"I was a battered husband."

"[singing] I'm a Wheel Watcher! I'm a Wheel Watcher!"

"[to Bobby and Jeff, regarding the name BJ Landscaping] BJ? [laughs] Well, I think "JB" has a nicer ring to it. Beside…"

"I want half. And don't give me none of that "fifty-percent" shit."

"Look, I heard you the first time, Bobby. I ain't mute."

"Lt. Feege Gruber: They found him this morning...dead in the water, so to speak."

"1 murder. 460 prime suspects. Not so much of a 'who done it' as a 'who didn't'."

"The death of Mona Dearly wasn't so much a whodunnit, as a who didn't."

"Some shame bout that Mona Dearly. I mean, so young."