"Sounds great. Who the fuck is John Malkovich?"

"Maxine. Maxine. I love you, Maxine. Oh, look away. Look away [Looking through Emily's eyes at the end]"

"Do you have any idea what it's like to have two people look at you, with total lust and devotion, through the same pa…"

"Behind the stubble and the too-prominent brow and the male-pattern baldness... I sensed your feminine longing. And it…"

"Orson Bean — Dr. Lester"

"I'd fuck me. [Watching television documentary on his puppeteering when he's in John Malkovich's body.]"

"Mary Kay Place — Floris (Lester's secretary/receptionist)"

"Nobody's looking for a puppeteer in today's wintry economic climate."

"Do you see what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is?"

"Help! He's locking me in a cage!"