"Glenn isn't my type. I guess I'm just too practical or unromantic or something. I want a man like Ed who's got a factory or a store or something solid. I certainly don't want a wandering nomad like Glenn Miller."

"What happened to that dream of yours? What about that sound?"

"I wish we could stick together, but, well, I've been eatin' for two years now. It's kinda gotten to be a habit. I don't think I can break it."

"Still got that crazy idea in your head, that sound?"

"Hey, Glenn! Come on back. Mr. Pollack wants to talk to you. He says your arrangement is a pip!"

"The war was over and the world was falling in love again."

"A love story is like a song. It's beautiful while it lasts."

"Liza Minnelli - Francine Evans"

"Robert De Niro - Jimmy Doyle"

"Lionel Stander - Tony Harwell"

"Barry Primus - Paul Wilson"

"Mary Kay Place - Bernice Bennett"

"Georgie Auld - Frankie Harte"

"George Memmoli - Nicky"

"Dick Miller - Palm Club Owner"

"Clarence Clemons - Cecil Powell"

"Casey Kasem - DJ aka Midnight Bird"

"Jack Haley - Master of Ceremonies / Cameo Appearance (uncredited)"

"Adam Winkler - Jimmy Doyle Jr."

"Do I look like a gentleman to you in this shirt and these pants?"

"(Singing) Ask any of the chickies in my pen, they'll tell you I'm the biggest mother... hen."

"(Having been asked what the cost of a phonecall is) Come on, Vel, you know how I feel about you. You're like family to me, one of my own. ...I'll do it for fifty."

"In this town, murder's a form of entertainment."

"Miss Velma Kelly in an act...of desperation."

"My sister Veronica and I had this double act, and my husband Charlie traveled around with us. Now for the last number in our act, we did these twenty acrobatic tricks in a row. One, two, three, four, five, splits, spread-eagles, backflips, flip-flops, one right after the other. So this one night before the show, we're down at the Hotel Cicero; the three of us, boozin'... having a few laughs. And we ran out of ice, so I go out to get some. I come back... open the door... and there's Veronica and Charlie, doing number seventeen: the spread-eagle. Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later...when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead!"

"[Billy Flynn goes to cross-examine Velma Kelly] Ladies and gentlemen...a tap dance."

"Some men just can't hold their arsenic."

"And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times."

"Mr. Billy Flynn and the press conference rag. Notice how his mouth never moves...almost."

"(Singing) Come on babe, why don't we paint the town? And all that jazz! I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down... And all that jazz! Start the car, I know a whoopie spot, where the gin is cold and the piano's hot! It's just a noisy hall where there's a nightly brawl, and all... that... jazz!"

"(Listening to a description of Roxie's trial on the radio) Oh, mama, she stole my garter...(grabs radio and shakes it) She stole my garters! First she steals my publicity, then she steals my lawyer, my trial date, and now she steals my goddamn garter!"

"(Smoking her cigarette and smoke puffs from her red lips) Cicero."