garfield

"Jon: Hey, Lyman. What do you think of my new tennis racket?"

"Jon: (to the phone) I may not be rich, but remember this: money can't buy happiness."

"Garfield: (Standing atop Jon's easy chair) From this vantage point, I can survey all that I rule!"

"Jon: Doc, how are you?"

"Jon: I'm bored."

"Jon: Quiet day today."

"Garfield: Hey, Jon, what's new?"

"Jon: Somewhere out there is the woman for me!… hiding no doubt."

"Garfield: (bragging to Jon) I came within an eyelash of catching that pesky mouse today."

"Jon: How cute! Nermal brought me my newspaper! And my slippers and my pipe! What more could a man want?"

"Garfield: What a dismal day. I think I'll stay in bed all day."

"Jon: Having a girlfriend changes everything, Garfield. The ways things taste, the way things smell. I'm gonna have to change my socks more often."

"Sign: Beware of Dog"

"Jon: I'm in the mood to party!… Or fold laundry."

"Phone: (When Garfield picks up) May I speak to the head of the household?"

"Phone (Garfield picks up) May I speak to the moron of the house?"

"Garfield sleeps at the doorway"

"Garfield is building a snowman"

"Jon: Garfield, why aren't women attracted to me?"

"Jon: So, doc, how's Garfield?"

"Jon is whistling off screen, there is a plate of 4 cookies on the table and Garfield walks in with a cup of coffee"

"(Jon discovers that Garfield ate all of the Christmas cookies)"

"Jon: (Watching Garfield eat) You know, Garfield... I wouldn't say you're fat, but..."

"Garfield: (Showing a single cat hair to Jon) This is all I'll be shedding today."

"Jon: (Showing a plate of food to Garfield) Garfield, see what this tastes like."

"Jon: (On the phone) Hello, Evelyn? This is Jon Arbuckle. Would you care to join me in a little fine dining this evening? I know this cozy little out-of-the-way seafood bistro... Wonderful food... Great atmosphere... Pardon? Stinky Bob's Sushi Bar and Bait Shack."

"Jon and Garfield are racing for the last hot dog. Jon reaches it first."

"Jon: Why don't you ever listen to me?"

"Jon: Two steak dinners, and make mine medium."

"Jon's mom: (reading a photo album) Here's you, Jonny, in the first grade."

"(A spider hits Garfield with one of his legs, so Garfield squishes him with a newspaper, leaving it on top of him.)"

"(Jon is talking to Garfield.)"

"Jon: Cats are mysterious creatures."

"Jon: Just one bite of chicken and that's it, Garfield."

"Jon and Garfield are just about to leave the farm."

"Jon: (brandishing a letter) This came in the mail for you."

"Jon: Do you think glasses would make me look smarter?"

"Jon: I'm starting your diet, Garfield. How would you like this head of cabbage prepared?"

"(Garfield chases Odie up a tree.)"

"Jon: Hey, Garfield, how are you going to get out of that tree?"

"Mouse: (running) Help! I am frightened of that big, strong cat!"

"Jon: (while walking out the front door, carrying a surfboard and a beach ball, and wearing flippers) Got my beach ball, got my fins, got my surfboard..."

"Jon: (groggy, and holding a tube of toothpaste) Where's my toothbrush? (Garfield hands him a toilet brush) Thank you. (proceeds to brush his teeth with the toilet brush)"

"Jon: Garfield's in for a big surprise. I put an alarm on the refrigerator. (In the background, Garfield is seen running into the kitchen.) That's the first rule for successfully living with a cat. (Garfield looks at Jon from around the corner.) You must be smarter than the cat. (Garfield is seen in the background, carrying the refrigerator, which is now unplugged, on his back.)"

"(Garfield is asleep in bed.)"

"Jon: Meow. Meow. Okay, what did I just say to you, Garfield?"

"(Jon is on the phone. He looks behind him, then resumes talking.)"

"Garfield: (running to Jon) I had nothing to do with it!"

"Jon: (showing Dad his bathroom) Here it is, Dad; a modern bathroom with all the conveniences."

"(Jon is sitting on the couch, reading a newspaper. He hears the doorbell ring, then walks to the front door and opens it. To his surprise, it's Garfield.)"