"[singing] Dear blender/Now, won't you help a first offender?/Oh, toaster/Don't you put the burn on me/Refrigerator/Why are we always sooner or later/Bitchin' in the kitchen or cryin' in the bedroom all night?"

"But the false promise of a new dawn usually leads to a most bloody sunset."

"[singing] We lost our home/Our family/You lost compassion, now you're losin' me..."

"[To Farley] I'm as sane as you are! Saner!"

"Everyone loves the girl next door, particularly Farley."

"Hoopla Denton!"

"[singing] Ever since I was the eine kleine herren/It was the Cordon Bleu for which I am most carin'/And the one taste treat so sweet, it really can't be beat/Is what we have, ja, how you are, caviar, that little black mess!"

"The subject is committed. As are we all."

"Hey, folks, it's Ricky from the Rest Home!"

"Betty, it's imperative we get Janet out of Flavors' fast fingers and Brad out of that hell-hole before they both disappear forever. If only I could place that name -- McKinley?"

"Brad will learn how to care in the surgical chair!"

"They should be sent to the Danube at dawn."

"[singing] Every since I was a little boy, dressing up has always been my greatest joy. But when it's time to be discreet, there's one thing you just can't beat and that's a strapless, backless classical little black dress."

"Coffee, Kirk. I'm dying for it."

"[singing] Well, the best thing you could ever do is die!"

"[singing] You lost your baby when you lost your balls/You lost your mind when you lost your grip, so say bye-bye!"

"Now, you see the way we got rid of that dirty little dish is the same way we're going to put the rest of our house in order! Including... the upstairs!"

"Look at that, Bert Schnik's dancing! Bert can see!"

"Alimony is just another word for rape."

"Oh, Ralph? ... Shove it!"

"[singing] If that's not enough, then I'm/So sorry I met you, it was almost like leading you on/But there's more to it all/Than just ringing your heart out over something/That keeps on going wrong/So don't tell me you love me/How am I supposed to know what that means?/No, don't sell emotion/You can't buy devotion if you're falling apart at the seams..."

"I detect a note of reticence. Are you perhaps one of those amongst us who feel that emotive forms of presentations are overly manipulative?"

"[to Macy Struthers] Who loves YOU, baby?"

"Oh, no, just a routine checkup."