Vivian Stanshall

"English as tuppence, changing yet changeless as canal-water, nestling in green nowhere, armoured and effete, bold flag-bearer, lotus fed Miss Havishambling, opsimath and eremite, feudal-still reactionary Rawlinson End. The story so far. (Dot dot dot.)"

"... gauzes of filmy Fellini ..."

"How nice to be in England... Now that England's here, I stand upright on my wheelbarrow, And pretend I'm Boadicea."

"The gutters leaked like secrets, and the rain rained rain like rain..."

"I don't know what I want, but I want it NOW!"

"This unasked-for jollity in the middle of an English afternoon left Sir Henry shivering with a red passion, his face a crumpled tissue on which a lobster might well have wiped its bottom."

"Do you know what a palmist once said to me? She said: WILL YOU LET GO!"

"Gentlemen, I am a bulldog, and you will find my bark is worse!"

"If I had all the money I've spent on drink — I'd spend it on drink."

"That was inedible muck, and there wasn't enough of it."

"Seems a novel enough way to commit suicide. Pass me m' pistol. See if I can't bring the blighter down in the lake."

"Like the shock of fondling a raw sausage, blindfold, at a gay party ..."

"Mercifully, Henry hit him with the soft end of the pistol."

"A pale sun poked impudent marmalade fingers through the grizzled lattice glass, and sent the shadows scurrying, like convent girls menaced by a tramp."

"Fear is the root of all courage"

"Frankly, once I've eaten a thing, I don't expect to see it again."

"I've never met a man I didn't mutilate."

"The hounds are all fagged out after yesterday's Jehovah's Witnesses ... we do not want more blood all over the lawns again"

"Florrie nodded and indicated the sink:"P'rhaps you'd care to wash your hands?" "arrh no thank you M'am; I already done that against a tree before I came in here" said the Wrinkled Retainer"

"Sir Henry Rawlinson disguised as Hugh Bliette:"

"If you are normal, I intend to be a freak for the rest of my life"

"Do have an unusual day, won't you?"

"You got a light, mac? No...but I've got a dark brown overcoat."

"Why can't I be different and original, like everybody else?"

"It was a great party until someone found the hammer."

"And, looking very relaxed, Adolf Hitler on vibes. Nice!"

"If you're going to say anything filthy, please speak clearly."

"I've been looking for that particular son of a bitch for seven years. I could have been a doctor, or an architect."

"Five years ago I was a four-stone apology — today I am two separate gorillas."

"Wrestle poodles...and win!"

"Viv Stanshall? I didn't know that."

"Vivian Stanshall, about three o'clock in the morning, Oxfordshire, 1973, goodnight..."

"it's the problem with Italian aeroplanes too much hair on the wings"

"why do male nudists wear towels to play tennis?"

"I'm going to rhino over your lino"

"I studied the swell of her enormous breasts and I said: "Baby you're so far ahead it's beautiful""

"Normally I pack a rod; in pyjamas I carry nothing but scars from Normandy Beach"

"earnestly humming on his way"

"Wrestled Anaconda and she's a big girl"

"Willy consulted a book called I-ching. Florrie suggested calamine lotion to stop it.... Henry suggested it sounded like something a gentleman would do behind a handkerchief"