Coprophilia

"Now it's time for my breakfast."

"Crazier things have happened on the road."

"I thought [naming a sex act after Rick Santorum] was a super idea and asked my readers to nominate sex acts for the honor of being known as a "santorum." Nominations poured in--more than 3,000! I rejected some of the suggested sex acts for being too broad (oral sex), others for being too rare (manrimming-dog), still others for being completely fictional (donkey punching, dirty sanchez). I also eliminated nominated sex acts that already have perfectly good names (fisting, felching, rimming, scat)."

"I don’t speak with a stupid filmmaker about his poop fetish!"

"I have taken time to do a little research to know what homosexuals do in the privates [sic] of their bedroom. One of the thing [sic] they do is called anal licking, where a man’s anus [imitates] is licked [kissing noise] like this by the other person [man says “like ice cream”] like ice cream. And then what happens, even poo-poo comes out [demonstrates using hands]— the other person poo-poos out, and then they eat the poo-poo!"

"I’ve done research, this is what they do: number one, you can see a man here, having sucked the other person’s rectum, and the other person is poo-pooing, and this one is eating the poo-poo all over the place! Tell me, when you have a law against homosexuality, do you say, “except eating poo-poo?” I mean look at this guy sincerely! Bishop? [Bishop groans and leans away in disgust]"

"But you never know, it might be fun to do it covered in shit."