"I'm Brewster. (whispers)Not my real name. My parents named me Jack. 'Jack' - so strong, so masculine. We get it! You wanted a boy! Ma name's Jack! I punch bad guys and I kiss girls."

"Why can't I crack this? Dammit!"

"I could have one in my mouth and two in each hands and still win the straight award !"

"Shut up! I'm too straight to be gay!"

"(repeated line) Name, gimme a name."

"Kiss kiss, bang bang, bye bye. Cheer Camp. We are leaving, we are leaving. We are leaving."

"So not only do I find out yesterday I'm adopted, the people I've been calling 'mom' and 'dad' are actually infertile impostors who bought me outside of a meth clinic in Cincinnati for two boxes of Sudafed, but I also get this news dropped on me: my birth father, Bruce, he needs a kidney and I'm the only match! And apparently Bruce needs it stat. Mhm, you need it stat, Bruce? Huh? Well maybe I needed a father stat, instead of this stay-at-home-dad who showers me with love every day of my life this goddamn spermless liar! So now I gotta be at Kaiser Permanente tomorrow at 6:00 am. I know, Bruce couldn't even afford a real hospital. Managed care. It's ironic, huh? He never managed to care for me."

"Humans are the only species that can lie, except for maybe chameleons. Oh, and possums, they play dead."

"Look at that, huh? We're all here thinking inside the box, and you're outside of it, playing a little game of 'What If.' Gorgeous and brilliant, the triple threat."

"Do not poop where you eat, remember? That's why they're no restaurants called 'The Bathroom'."

"Bottomless breadsticks only keep you at the Olive Garden for so long, until at some point you look up and say 'Why the hell am I at the Olive Garden with all these fat people?'"

"I could be watching Project Runway marathon with Nathan Lane under my blouse and still win the straight award."

"Why is she dating that knob-rocket?"

"Screw football, let's go cheer!"

"'Panthers out'? What are they, a knife gang?"

"You gotta risk it to get the biscuit."

"Life's greatest enemy... yourself"

"A second to err, a lifetime to pay."

"You choose your own path, so don't regret it."

"That's life. Do I have a choice?"

"The world's most lethal drug... despair"

"Life's second-greatest pain... rage"

"Life's greatest pain... love"

"Charlotte Hanson - Glen's Wife"

"David Elliot - Glen"

"Judy Buxton - John's Mother"

"Ian Brimble - John's Father"

"Morgan Jones - Linda's Brother"

"Steven Mason - Cruising Man"

"Nicholas Hunter - Young Mark"

"James Perkins - Young Steve"

"James D. White - Dave"

"Tim Harris - Kevin"

"Patrick Nielsen - Mark"

"Kate McEnery - Wendy"

"Stacy Hart - Jessica"

"Martin Milman - Headmaster"

"Richard Hawley - English Teacher"

"David Lumsden - Steven's Father"

"Jacquetta May - Steven's Mother"

"Charlotte Brittain - Linda"

"Brad Gorton - John Dixon"

"Ben Silverstone - Steven Carter"

"School's out, so is Steven Carter"

"Boy meets boy. Boy likes boy. Boy, oh, boy."

"Steven's Mother: He's my son and I'm very proud of him. And if you do something to hurt him, I'll have your bollocks for earrings."

"Kevin: Am I right with it, Carter? You really are a queer!"

"Jessica: I was right about one thing: you're different from other blokes."