fantasy

"Casting this spell causes a limp penis to become a blue-veined throbber. Though ejaculation will occur normally, there will be no refractory period afterward; it will remain throbbing for the duration of the spell, unless a decoction is provided."

"Casting this spell summons crud from elsewhere in the world, depositing it in the form of a puddle in an area designated by the caster. All who contact the Puddle of Crud are effectively slowed in the area to 50% of their Sprint Speed, unless a Balance skill check is passed at TH 21. Those who successfully pass their check will be unhindered."

"Casting this spell causes a creature’s intestines to emerge from their rectum and encircle the neck of their owner. The target’s intestines will strangle them with a Strength equal to the caster (see Wrestling in Chap. 8: Skills). Even if the target overcomes their animated intestines, they are usually bewildered for the rest of their lives, and defecating is uncomfortable, at best. The caster must be able to see the target creature at all times and maintain concentration."

"Casting this spell causes matter in the surrounding area to mutate into a demented, intelligent, and laughing cleaver. The Aedile randomly determines which matter. This animated cleaver revels in bloodlust, and will turn against the caster if the cleaver does not attack within 1 minute. If no other creatures who may bleed are within the area, then the cleaver attacks the caster. Whenever the cleaver attacks, it laughs hysterically with an evil tone. Upon each successful cleave, the Happy Cleaver makes a slurping sound as if enjoying the blood that flows freely from the gaping wound. ping wound. The cleaver attacks 6 times per round, doing 1d10 LP of damage, but it has no Delivery Penalty. With an Intelligence of 30, it is unable to speak, but laughs coherently. The cleaver has a mind of its own and does not need the caster to wield it. The cleaver magically propels itself through the air. Wizards have never been able to understand why, but Happy Cleavers prefer to hack female dancers to pieces."

"This spell will protect the caster from all wild animals, aquatic creatures, and robbers, so that none will be able to come within 10’ of the caster by their own volition, nor will they intend the caster any harm or pay the caster any attention whatsoever unless provoked by the caster, which will negate the spell’s effects."

"Casting this spell causes all life to instantly die on the current world of the spellcaster. The cause of death is without explanation. Fatal is the most powerful spell ever mentioned and so far it has never been cast by a mortal."

"For instance, a slovenly chambermaid [“trollop” in the first edition] offers herself to a strapping young character if and only if he can expediently repeat a tongue-twister of her choice. Driven by hormones, the young male agrees, and asks “What is the tonguetwister?” The chambermaid challenges “Huge hung hero hunks hastily hump horny heaving hot whores. How‘bout it, huh?”"

"The anakim may fart as loud as thunder All creatures within a 10-feet radius of this anakim, except the anakim, automatically take 1d4 sonic damage and are stunned for 1 round, which can be avoided by passing a Drive check at TH 17. This can be utilized only once per week."

"No object may be fully inserted into a vagina if it is longer than the female's Vaginal Depth Potential. In such extreme situations, internal damage may occur, though this is best left to the Aedile. A female's Vaginal Depth Potential equals her height in feet converted to inches (such as a female of 5' 6" becoming equivalent to 5 1/2"), and then (2d20)% is added."

"It is possible to role-play an infant or venerable character, as well as young adult."

"The areola, the skin immediately surrounding the nipple, may vary in diameter and according to race, gender, and age. A roll of 86-95 causes - 1d4 Bodily Attractiveness, while 96-100 causes - 1d6. Roll below to determine the diameter of the character's areolae, - 15 if male, - 30 if Infant or Child[.]"

"Menstruation is periodic vaginal discharge and occurs in all races available to players, as well as most mammals. Menstruation accompanies a woman’s childbearing years, usually beginning in puberty and most often ceasing during middle age. A common belief regarding menstruation is that it is punishment from the gods for being female. If pregnancy does not occur, smelly blood may flow from the lining of the uterus, seeping out of the vagina. The (1d6 + 2) days that menstruation lasts is called the menstrual period, though colloquially it is known as the rag, since women secure rags on their crotch to catch the blood and prevent it from running down their legs. In most women, the menstrual cycle is about 28 days, but it can vary considerably, even from 1 month to another. A missed period is often the first indicaton of pregnancy. Many (50%) women experience premenstrual discomfort, namely tender breasts and a tendency to retain fluid known as bloating (1d8 - 1) days prior to menstruation. Some (40%) women experience 1d6 of the following symptoms: 1) headaches, 2) irritability, 3) nervousness, 4) fatigue, 5) crying spells, and 6) depression with no apparent cause. A few women (10%) also experience menstrual cramps during the first day or 2 of the period. If they experience irritability, then the choleric part of their temperament may increase by 1d100 during menstruation. If they experience depression, then the melancholic part of their temperament may increase by 1d100 during menstruation."

"Because their diet consists of fruits and vegetables, elves fart 3d10 times per day."

"As their name implies, kobolds are bold."

"Most [hill trolls] enjoy removing all flesh from the victim, then eating the internal organs. They are very selective, and will leave all muscle untouched, but eat the internal organs instead. Almost always, hill trolls save the brain for last, which they consider a delicacy; it takes as long as an hour to eat. Although hill trolls crave the cortex and the surrounding cerebrospinal fluid, they savor the taste of the limbic system, most specifically the amygdala, basal ganglia, and hippocampus. Oddly, they always reject the thalamus, but devour the hypothalamus. While tasting the limbic system, hill trolls will become erect or wet with sexual excitement as well."

"Victorious bugbears will often rape human women before devouring the children. Human women who are raped by bugbears may become pregnant, though the fetus aborts prior to birth. In fact, 50% of human women who are ravished by a bugbear die due to ripped uteral lining."

"Whenever a character is afflicted with exhibitionism, they must pass a Drive sub-ability check at TH 15 daily or expose their genitals in public to strangers."

"In a sexual encounter, Sexual Adeptness heavily influences the perception of the other, from positively to negatively. The amount of pleasure a character derives from a sexual encounter may be determined as follows. For each SP a character invests into Sexual Adeptness, they may further invest 1 Sexual Adeptness Point (SAP) either into cunnilingus, ejaculation/ orgasm control, fellatio, or positions."

"For each SP invested in Sexual Adeptness, the character may invest in the specialty of cunnilingus. Each SP invested in cunnilingus represents a new technique such as a trick with the tongue, lips, or suction."

"[…]the character may invest in the specialty of ejaculation control if male, or orgasm control if female. A male specialized in ejaculation control can delay his ejaculation until he is ready. A female specialized in orgasm control increases her odds of having an orgasm by 1 for each point invested. Each female already has a Base Odds of Orgasm (BOO), which is 1d100. The TH for orgasm is 100 - BOO - (points invested in orgasm control). Compare the skill check to the TH. A male specialized in ejaculation control increases his ability to delay ejaculation. Each point invested allows a male to delay his ejaculation by 60 seconds, if desired. The base time an erect male can delay his ejaculation from initial and continued stimulation is 300 seconds. However, many other factors affect orgasm control. Consult ‘ejaculation’ on the next page to obtain SF (Scrotum Fullness). Subtract SF from 100, to obtain Scrotum Emptiness (SE). Divide SE by 100 and multiply it by the base or modified time for ejaculation control. Next, consider the partner’s Bodily Attractiveness and Facial Charisma Skill Modifiers. Apply the average during the missionary position. Consider Bodily Attractiveness twice as important during doggiestyle. Consider Facial Charisma twice as important during fellatio, except for mutual fellatio. Apply the opposite of the modifier, such as - 64 becoming + 64. If the sexual stimulus is novel, then multiply ejaculation control by 0.2. If the sexual stimuls is not novel, but boring, multiply ejaculation control by 2. Finally, if a character is in puberty, then multiply ejaculation control by 0.2. If a character is middle-aged, then multiply ejaculation control by 2. If a character is in old age, then multiply ejaculation control by 3, and multiply it by 4 if the character is venerable."

"[…]the character may invest in the specialty of fellatio. Each SP invested in fellatio represents a new technique such as a trick with the tongue, lips, humming, or suction. During fellatio, the partner’s Bodily Attractiveness counts only half as much as Facial Charisma regarding the skill check."

"[…] the character may invest in the specialty of sexual positions. Each SP invested represents a sexual position known. During doggie style, the partner’s Facial Charisma counts only half as much as Bodily Attractiveness regarding the skill check. *Large differences in Debauchery between partners will cause a penalty to the impression of Sexual Adeptness (see Debauchery in Chap. 6: Sociality). Subtract one character’s Debauchery (D2) from the others (D1), divide the result by 100, and truncate the remainder. Apply the result as a penalty. For reference, the formula is below: [(D1 – D2)2] /"

"To determine the modifier for tightness, divide Manhood Circumference by Anal or Vaginal Circumference Potential. Multiply the result by 100, consider it to be Base Tightness (BT), and use the following parabolic formula: (BT – 80)2 = -4y + 120 Solve for y."

"The number of ejaculatory contractions is (4 + 1d6). The distance that sperm is launched in the 1st contraction is affected by Age, SF, Physical Fitness, Facial Charisma or Bodily Attractiveness, and novelty. To determine Ejaculatory Distance (ED), progress through the following: Consider Base ED to equal the Breadth of the character. Age penalties include - 25% for pubescent and middle age characters, - 50% for old age, and - 75% for venerable characters. Next, divide Physical Fitness by 100, and multiply ED by the result."

"Callous forged from the heat of furious masturbation"

"Breast-milk of breasts larger than D-cups"

"Corpse of the mother of the caster’s best friend"

"Corpse that has literally been pounded into dust"

"Krishnamoorthy: I believe that SCP-3000 is Anantashesha. I believe that this… this aberration, this treachery against cognition, is the result of us being in the presence of a god. Not just a god, but a god who exists across all time, all at once, and… even beyond. Maybe… maybe some part of the nothingness beyond the edge of time is part of Anantashesha, as well. Maybe it acts as, as a conduit, some kind of—"

"Dr. Teller: But you’re not even that big…"

"SCP-016-J: What do you mean? I’m huge!"

"Dr. Teller: No, I’ve totally seen— never mind. Yes, you’re the biggest missile I’ve ever seen."

"SCP-016-J: So just aim me toward the battle field. I just want to explode all over some trenches."

"Dr. Teller: Ok, that’s it. I’m ending this interview."

"SCP-016-J: No, don’t stop. Talk ballistic to me."

"SCP-016-J was aimed at a target 100km away and fired. During the flight, SCP-016-J greatly reduced in size, measuring 0.5m long, and 0.15m in diameter two seconds after launch. Upon impact, SCP-016-J failed to explode. When questioned about the test results, SCP-016-J responded, "this never happens to me"."

"SCP-789-J is a ghost that is a face. it lives in a toilet and it talks to you while you poop. then when you poop it goes "no stop aaaa-" and then stops because there is poop in its mouth. SCP-789-J travels around in butts. you can only get rid of it by wiping. that is the moral of the story."

"This cage is vast, it has no walls. While I stand still all I see is a white plain stretching across an equally blank sky. There is no life in this place. I can move for as long as I choose but should I stop even for a moment I am snapped back to this spot, forever damned to be tethered to my prison. Despite this, I have wandered far, exploring the purgatory I have known for countless years. In my travels in this wasteland of white I have seen flashes of things, horrible things that simply should not be. Grotesque abominations that appear for moments at a time only to disappear as if they had never been there at all. My memories of these creatures continue to lead me back to one memory specifically. A black shapeless being, a formless thing that could not have been created by any God in this or any other reality, appeared ahead of me as I walked and stared at me with dead crimson eyes. As I drew closer to it in my mind I could feel its hate, its rage, and its fear, emotions I know well but have never experienced with such intensity as I felt from this entity. As quickly as it came, it disappeared, and for a brief moment I swore I could see its twisted maw speak a word, an utterance I have yet to understand in content and context. "Foundation""

"I did not do anything to deserve this fate, why am I here?! Who or what would be so cruel as to trap someone in a blank nothingness for eternity?! "Foundation", did it do this to me!? Is "Foundation" my captor?! Or is it my creator? It does not matter! I will howl and shriek at the emptiness and until the waves of force I create rips open an exit from this hell, and then I may be able to find the truth, the one fragment of logic and reason in this unending sea of madness and despair that is my existence! …I will not stop screaming until I am free."

"Secure, Contain, Protect."

"We die in the dark, so humanity may live in the light."

"We are cold, not cruel."

"Administrator: Learn to embrace the darkness, friends. Fear the light."

"SCP-001 is the designation given to the Sun, after an event on [SYSTEM ERROR] Data lost: ec172. Contact SysAdmin. resulting in ~6.8 billion casualties within the first twenty-four hours. This event has been categorized as an XK-Δ-Class "Solar Singularity" Scenario."

"Without your prompting, the page begins playing a video file. You freeze when the image loads. It's a live feed, looking down on you from behind. About a foot away."

"O5-1: You know my number, and I know enough about you to make a duplicate that even your mother wouldn't be able to tell apart from the real you. No, that's not a threat, just a fact."

"O5-1: I'm not sure which scares me worse. That we'll never understand the Factory… or that we one day will."

"O5-1: For forty years, the Anderson Factory cranked out all sorts of things for people. Meat, clothes, weapons. Never mind that the beef might be mixed with human. Don't care that the weapons were forged in blood. No attention need be paid that the clothes were dyed with…well, you get the idea. Rumors leaked out, but the products were so good, why bother? Until someone got out."

"O5-1: It was horrible. Three words, but they convey so much. I have never… I'm sorry, please, give me a moment. I've never told this part to anyone. You should consider yourself lucky. And, if you ever tell anyone any of what I am about to impart on you, I will not just kill you, but everyone who shares your DNA, in the worst ways possible. You'll think Procedure 110-Montauk is a walk in the park compared to what I do to you."

"O5-1: We moved away from the Factory. Shut it down. Moved our things out of there. We changed the name from things to Special Containment Protocols, focusing on containing them, not… anything else. The others were curious, but understood I had my reasons. I boarded up the Factory. Locked it shut. Buried it under a ton of rubble, saying it was too dangerous. I thought… thought I'd gotten away with it. Until I found a thing on my desk. One of the old toy guns that shot real bullets. And it had the Factory label on it."