Dead Ringers

"My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps. More on that story later"

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like: It's better than yours. Damn right. It's better than yours. More on that story later."

"Push me, and touch me, so I can get my satisfaction. More on that story later."

"They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no no no. More on that story later."

"I've had the same jeans on for four days now. More on that story later."

"And i would walk five hundred miles, and i would walk five hundred more, just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to fall at your door. More on that story later."

"Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money. More on that story later."

"Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby. More on that story later."

"You're watching Newsnight... are you trying to impress someone? More on that story later."

"One love for the city streets, one love for the hip hop beats. One love is all we need. More on that story later."

"Even when I'm with my boo, all I think about is you. More on that story later."

"If there's a problem, yo I'll solve it, check out the hook while my DJ revolve it. More on that story later."

"Hello and welcome to the Ten O'Clock News with me Fiona Bruce. It's not the news in my life, it's the life in my news."

"I'm Fiona Bruce, proud to be tested on animals."

"I'm Fiona Bruce, and I'm sat on the luckiest chair in Britain."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. Breaking news, breaking hearts."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. I'm the one who made the frog crazy."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. There's never a hosepipe ban when I'm around."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. Forget The Da Vinci Code, I'm the one who'll bring the Catholic Church to its knees."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. When the news is good, I'm good. When it's bad, I'm better."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. If you're looking for a source of alternative energy, you've come to the right place."

"I'm Fiona Bruce; the real reason Thierry Henry is staying in Britain."

"I'm Fiona Bruce; Michael Schumacher has been stripped of his pole position from the Monaco Grand Prix, after an incident during the qualifying lap, and I've just won £50 from my producer for saying stripped, pole and lap without moving my eyebrows."

"I'm Fiona Bruce; David Cameron's first choice of luxury item."

"I'm Fiona Bruce; Play your cards right, and you could be in for a Brucey bonus!"

"I'm Fiona Bruce. I'll make Peter Crouch."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. Like Britney Spears, I'm completely shaved."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. Standing up, or behind the desk, it's all the same with me!"

"I'm Fiona Bruce. With rear end suspension and airbags as standard."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. Now the regional news, all my regions are just as fantastic as the rest of me."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. Don't move! I like you in that position"

"X-Men? They are when I've finished with them."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. Guess where I've got my Red Nose!"

"I'm Fiona Bruce. I've kept slaves in the past but I'm not apologizing."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. Gordon Brown visits me privately as well."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. Have you been a good boy all year? Then it won't be me coming down your chimney at midnight; I only like bad boys!"

"I'm Fiona Bruce; My knickers are made of mistletoe."

"David Blunkett has been fiercely criticized for telling David Dimbleby to piss-off during a live radio broadcast. David Dimbleby has been fiercely criticized for not pissing-off!"

"Hello, I'm Fiona Bruce and welcome to the News at 10. You bloody love it, don't you?"

"I'm Fiona Bruce. I'm off to play with Dom's little wood."

"I've ironed your script, so if you crease it the only reporting you'll be doing is in the Falklands, and that's not very nice! Rhrrrr!"

"You're watching a NewsWatch election night special, and I've already had my ballot box well and truly stuffed!"

"I'm Fiona Bruce. Don't touch what you can't afford."

"You're watching the Ten O'Clock News with me, Fiona Bruce, and like Britney, I'm also completely shaved."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. The real reason Prince William is delaying the wedding."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. The whole world's competing to lift my cup."

"I'm Fiona Bruce. There's about 100,000 people in my catchment area."

"Just starting over on BBC One is a brand new programme about the recent New Labour drama, The Project - following the story of a tiny handful of mysterious clandestine people who actually bother to watch it all the way through."

"Tomorrow night at 9 on ITV1, there'll be someone who used to be in EastEnders, or Soldier Soldier on the hunt for a serial killer. I haven't actually looked at the schedules but it's bound to be there, it usually is."

"My fellow animaniacs…"