"As you get older, Never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart"

"We live, we die, and the wheels on the bus go round and round."

"If life has taught me anything, it's that 95 percent of the people are always wrong."

"Somewhere, some lucky guy is having a heart attack."

"[Speaking at Carter's funeral] Good afternoon. My name is Edward Cole. I don't know what most people say at these occ…"

"[Narrating the end of the film]: Edward Perryman Cole died in May. It was a Sunday in the afternoon and there wasn't …"

"You measure yourself by the people who measure themselves by you."

"You know, the ancient Egyptians had a beautiful belief about death. When their souls got to the entrance to heaven, t…"

"I went by our station on the way home... I like that sign. I think we're gonna be alright."

"[to Sonny about Lawrence Musgrove] You fucked him up! You fucked up that man's last walk!"