"[looking at an ugly alien fish] Ooh, man, you look like you come from the planet... Damn."

"May I have your attention please... [Neuralyzes a crowd] Okay. You know how your kid won the goldfish in that little …"

"No, I call ladies "O." To me O is feminine, K is masculine. Y'know, I see a couple, I'm like... OK."

"First of all, my name is J. Okay? It's not Son, it's not Slick, and it damn sure ain't no Cochise."

"[Upon seeing K’s car destroyed by Boris’ motorcycle after Boris captured Griffin] Damn it!"

"[To Boris] 'You might wanna get a pedicure if you get a second.'"

"[After seeing 1969 K shoot 1969 Boris] Where there's death, there will always be death."

"[giving a eulogy] I worked with Zed for over 40 years and in all that time he never invited me to dinner, he never as…"

"I don't ask questions I don't want to know the answer to."

"[talking to K at Wu’s restaurant] Man, I am getting too old for this. I can only imagine how you feel."