"Ann-Margret - Bobbie"

"Rita Moreno - Louise"

"Carol Kane - Jennifer"

"Is this an ultimatum? Answer me, you ball-busting, castrating, son of a cunt bitch! Is this an ultimatum or not?"

"You want a job? I got a job for you. Fix up this pigsty! You get a pretty goddammed good salary for testing out this …"

"Why don't you leave me?... For God's sake, I'd almost marry you if you'd leave me."

"Women today are better-hung than the men."

"At one time, it was great what we had... the kidding around. It can't have a natural time span. Affairs can't dissolv…"

"Alright, where the fuck is my shoehorn? This place is a mess! There's not any food in the house, half the time you lo…"

"Jack Nicholson - Jonathan"