"I was trained to be an evil mastermind from a young age. Pulling the wings off flies, poisoning the earth's water supply - I was covering that stuff in kindergarten. I guess we're all just lucky my father faked his own death before he got to the raping and pillaging part of my education, or no one would be safe."

"You see, cuckoos are parasites. They lay their eggs in other birds' nests. When the egg hatches, the baby cuckoo pushes the other baby birds out of the nest. The poor parent birds work themselves to death trying to find enough food to feed the enormous cuckoo child who has murdered their babies and taken their places." "Enormous? Did you just call me fat?" "It was an analogy." "I am not fat."

"Looks like a bite mark. What have you been doing all day, anyway?" "Nothing. I went walking in the park. Tried to clear my head." "And ran into a vampire?" "What? No! I fell." "On your neck?"

"This kind of reminds me of the time my grandfather gave me his old golf clubs." "Yeah, except you never use those." "And I hope you never have to use that."

"However, there is something you should have. Something every Shadowhunter should have." "An obnoxious, arrogant attitude?"

"Maybe I should ask for blessings on my mission against all those who wear white after Labor Day."

"Jace hadn't seemed perturbed, but knowing him, Simon had no doubt he could kill several people in a single morning and go out for waffles afterward."

"A werewolf. Like everyone else here. Except you, and the asshole. And the asshole's sister."

"I don't want to be a man. I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead."

"Then again, it was Jace. He'd pick a fight with a Mack truck if the urge took him."

"I don't see anything you need protecting from here," said the boy. "Except some bad decor and a possible mold problem. But you can usually clear that up with bleach."

"I'm pure at heart. It repels the dirt."

"I'll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from 'almost extinct' to 'not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.' Will that make you happy?"

"It's been so long that I think I was unsettled by the idea of feeling like I belonged anywhere. But you made me feel like I belong."

"Do you think it was a coincidence?" "Do I think what was a coincidence?" "That we wound up in Pandemonium the same night that Jace and the others just happened to be there, pursuing a demon? The night before Valentine came for my mother?" Simon shook his head. "I don't believe in coincidences." "Neither do I." "But I have to admit, coincidence or not, it turned out to be a fortuitous occurrence."

"Was it weird hearing from Jace? I mean, since you found out . . ." "Yes? Since I found out what? That he's a killer transvestite who molests cats?" "No wonder that cat of his hates everyone."

"Honestly Jace, don't you know better than to play with broken glass?"

"So she had a box. Lots of people have boxes. They keep things in them. It's a growing trend, I hear."

"That sounds terrific. Just you, your comatose wife, your shell-shocked son, and you daughter who hates your guts. Not to mention that your two kids may be in love with each other. Yeah, that sounds like a perfect family reunion."

"Well, you can go ahead and hang your head out of the car window if you feel like it." Luke laughed. "I'm a werewolf, not a golden retriever."

"Wait a second." "I never understand why people say that," Luke said, to no one in particular. "I wasn't going anywhere."

"Drive fast, mundane. Drive like hell was following you."

"It's the Mortal Cup, Jace, not the Mortal Toilet Bowl."

"Unfortunately, Lady of the Haven, my one true love remains myself." "At least you don't have to worry about rejection, Jace Wayland." "Not necessarily. I turn myself down occasionally, just to keep it interesting."

"Seeing through glamour is easy. It's people that are hard."

"Demonic activity levels? Do they have a device that measures whether the demons inside the house are doing power yoga?"

"The nod means, 'I am a badass, and I recognize that you, too, are a badass.'"

"I forgot that's what gets you all hot and bothered, Jace. Girls killing things." "I like anyone killing things," He said equably, "Especially me."

"Sorry, are you telling me that your demon-slaying buddies need to be driven to their next assignation with the forces of darkness by my mom?"

"You know, most psychologists agree that hostility is really just sublimated sexual attraction." "Ah, that might explain why I so often run into people who seem to dislike me."

"Only Jace could look cool in pajama bottoms and an old T-shirt, but he pulled it off, probably through sheer force of will."

"I can't wait 'til you draw something really complicated, like the Brooklyn Bridge or a lobster. You'll probably send me a singing telegram."

"Jace was still staring at her as if she'd told him she'd found out one of the Silent Brothers doing nude cartwheels in the hallway."

"Don't tell me," he said. "You've got a drawing emergency. You need a nude model. Well, I'm not in the mood. You could ask Hodge."

"Well you'll have to wait 'til tomorrow. I'm out of commission." He pointed at himself. "Look. Jammies."

"You really want to know what else it was my mom said about you?" he asked. She shook her head. He didn't seem to notice. "She said you'd break my heart."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you kissed me," he said. "I kissed you?" "Don't worry, it wasn't that memorable for me, either."

"In future, Clarissa," he said, "it might be wise to mention that you already have a man in your bed, to avoid such tedious situations."

"Maybe. Although I doubt most Shadowhunters get a tattoo of Donatello from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on their left shoulder."

"Well, when I was five, I wanted my mother to let me go around and around inside the dryer with the clothes," Clary said. "The difference is, she didn't let me." "Probably because going around and around inside a dryer can be fatal," Jace pointed out, "whereas pasta is rarely fatal. Unless Isabelle makes it."

"She was afraid you'd freak out? Start seeing demons in the White House?"

"A picnic? It's a little late for Central Park, don't you think? It's full of-" He waved a hand. "Faeries. I know." "I was going to say muggers," said Clary. "Though I pity the mugger who goes after you."

"Much like postal service, demon hunters never sleep. 'Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these-'" "You'd be in major trouble if gloom of night did stay you."

"Do you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived, you'd get dressed up in a nurse's outfit and give me a sponge bath?" "Actually, I think you misheard," Clary said. "It was Simon who promised you the sponge bath." Jace looked involuntarily over at Simon, who smiled at him widely. "As soon as I'm back on my feet, handsome." "I knew we should have left you a rat."

"I thought you guys said only some of the vampire bikes could fly?" "Only some of them can!" "How did you know this was one of them?" "I didn't!"

"This is bad," said Jace. "You said that before." "It seemed worth repeating."