"Why couldn't someone have patience for me? Why couldn't someone be wise to my fears? Tell me why couldn't somebody cry for me This time? And if I should die, who'll be the first to cry?"

"The first time my brothers saw me, when I was a day or two old and still in the hospital, my brother Mark could not pronounce the name "Kimberley," and I was an especially happy baby, so he decided it would be easier to call me "Happy." From that moment on, my family members never used the name Kimberley. I was forced, however, to use my given name while attending school. As soon as I turned sixteen, my name was legally changed to Happy Tyler Rhodes. As far as I'm concerned, it's the ony name I've ever had. When people ask me if it's my real name, I always say "yes.""

"I'll be over your head Ecto Now don't be afraid Ecto Don't reach out Ecto Just be glad that I exist Ecto"

"When the rain came down, I was older than the earth. I could die right now, and plan another birth Anytime I choose. I am in peace, in love, in harmony, when the rain comes"

"When the rain came down, I was standing in the green My soul was touched by every tree that my eyes could see I am in peace, in love, in harmony when the rain comes downWhen the rain came down — melded with my tears When the rain came down — flow away the fears When the rain came down — bigger than the sea When the rain came down — then came me."

"Everybody sees me as a solitary entity but I long to be important to somebody It's a love of fairy tales that drives this guilty wish To walk serenely in front of family to collect my kiss and though this notion is as flawed as any I have learned I'd like to think that like the others, it's something I deserve"

"I was been raised to believe I was an artist. I believed what my parents said and fulfilled it, like a prophecy."

"All we have is the past, but for people of the future, there's not even going to be a history there. The history of recorded music has turned into a flat fucking screen of an iTunes playlist. I'm preserving something that's going extinct! That's all rock'n'roll has been since day one. It's all necrophilia."

"Of course, Willis is above criticism -- it's hard to criticize something that is essentially variations on one simple theme, let alone a batch of songs written by a schizophrenic -- but that still doesn't make listening to any of his records any easier."

""You are so great. You are my brother / You are a cold-blooded KILLER! You are a mass murderer!" - Chuckie"

""Spider-Man messed with my girlfriend / Spider-Man wrapped his arms around her with my bedroom door closed / Suddenly, I opened the bedroom door on Spider-Man's sneaky ass / I caught him kissing my girlfriend and beat him to a pulp with a rubber hose" - I Whipped Spider-Man's Ass"

""O.J. Simpson was a no-good jerk / He is a fucking asshole / He had no business killing his ex-wife Nicole, or her friend Ronald Goldman" - O.J. Simpson"

""After I stole your Sony ESP Car Discman, I went across the street to a gas station / I found me an empty jug and filled it up with gasoline / Suddenly, I ran back to your Lamborghini to set it on fire / I doused your Lamborghini with gasoline and torched it" - I Broke Out Your Windshield"

""This man watches the football game / He enjoyed every minute of it / He was watching the Chicago Bears beat the San Francisco 49ers / You damn right!" - NFL Shit"

""Jim Sym got on my ass for screaming like a wild animal at Genesis on Western / I freaked out a lot of customers / I also said 'suck my dick' in front of a lot of people" - Outburst"

""I used to eat McDonald's hamburgers / I used to eat three Big Macs a night / In 1992, I gained 23 more pounds / Suddenly, I weighed 360 pounds heavier" - I'm Slimming Down"

""Stop shooting old ladies." - Stop the Violence"

""Destroy civilization, motherfucker!" - Stealth Bomber"

""It's the end of World War I / It's the end of World War II!" - It's the End of the Western"

""The bandit wore a werewolf mask" - Attempted Armed Robbery"

""When the police pulled up, I was doomed / I was arrested for possession of a controlled substance / I was taken to the metal clink / I was nothing but a loser" - I Smoke Weed"

""I smoke my crack pipe everyday / I have a good time at it / I jack my mother for dope money / I do it by threatening her life with a semi-automatic" - I Smoke Weed"

""Christmas is Jesus Christ's birthday! / That's what it is all about in the mix!" - Merry Christmas"

"At 10:00 PM, I drove my bronco back to Birdman's real estate / I jumped over his fence after dark / I picked up a brick and shattered Birdman's window pane / Birdman sighted me doing it and reached for his pistol / Suddenly I jumped back in my bronco and took off like O.J. Simpson" - Birdman Kicked My Ass"

""Fill me full of lead in my ass crack" - Shoot Me in the Ass"

""You are my favorite movie star / You are my big buddy / You are a low-down rotten man / You are crazy like a roll lizard" - Arnold Schwarzenegger"

""I love your movies! I love you, too!" - Arnold Schwarzenegger"

""You think you can get away with murder / You don't know who you're fooling with / I'm going to shoot you with my BB gun" - Fuck With Me and Find Out"

""Suck a racehorse's bootyhole / Suck a snow leopard's ass / Suck a constipated goat's dick / Suck my doberman pincher's cock" - Suck My Dog's Dick"

""You are nothing but a crazy ass jerk!" - You Fucked That Man's Car Up"

""This beast killed as many as 100,000 people / It's wings can flap like a bird / It can break a glass / It can also stab you in the ass" - The Chicken Cow"

"Do something about your long filthy hair / It looks like a rat's nest" - Cut the Mullet"

"Take your ass to the barber shop / Tell the barber you're sick of looking like an asshole" - Cut the Mullet"

"Once upon a time, I was cursing at Daniels Chapel AME Zion Church / I called one of the deacons a motherfucker / Reverend Henry E. Miller preached about my vulgar language / He told the congregation in the sanctuary that I got a nasty filthy mouth" - They Threw Me Out of Church"

""Dale Dunkey shot my house up / He shot it up to get rid of the termites / He then shot at me with his BB gun" - The Termites Ate My House Up"

""The vultures were hungry." - The Vultures Ate My Dead Ass Up"

""Suck a polar bear's funky ass!" - Suck a Cheetah's Dick"

""My mother smokes that crack like a cigar / She had a good time at it / She jacks my brother for dope money / She does this by threatening him with a Smith and Wesson" - My Mother Smokes Crack Rocks"

""It was Sunday, March 12th, 2000 at 6:20 PM / I was about to fly from Chicago-Midway to Orlando, Florida / Suddenly my mean schizophrenic demon called me a jerk / Suddenly I yelled 'FUCK YOU' on the airplane" - My Keyboard Got Damaged"

""McDonald's is a place to rock / It is a restaurant where they buy food to eat / It is a good place to listen to the music / People flock here to get down to the rock music." - Rock 'N Roll McDonald's"

""McDonald's hamburgers are the worst / They are worse than Burger King's" - Rock 'N Roll McDonald's"

""I am a good person to the max / I am a good guy in Jesus' name." - Wesley Willis"

"From now on, I'm staying away from fatty foods, by eating healthy foods, and going on a strict diet"

"Number 1. I'm gonna do this song again. Number 2. I'm gonna do this song again all the way up your ass. Number 3. I'm gonna fuck your ass up like in a car crash. Number 4. I'm gonna fuck you up like a goddamn accident. Number 5. Jesus is the answer!"

""I have a mean schizophrenia demon in my head / My demon racks me with profanity / My demon tells me lies and says I'm a jerk, a bum and an asshole / My demon keeps me from joy bus riding by torturing me" - Wesley Willis"

""At 11:00 PM, the police came to my mother's house to eject her ... they locked her up for being a loser." - My Mother Smokes Crack Rocks"

"Before I got fat, I was slim / That was this time when I was eating McDonalds."

"My demons talk to me in profanity. They think I'm a jerk. A bum. And an asshole. I just say they're a jerk, they're a bum, they're an asshole. They're no good. They better leave me alone and get off my case."

"The music I love to play is Rock 'N Roll. I love to rock like a wild animal. I love to rock it well enough to whip a yak's ass. I love to whip it good on a horse's ass. I love to rock it real hard. I love to rock it all the way to Russia. I love to kick out the Jazz and kick it out all the way."

"Rock music pays off. Rock music takes me on a joyride. Rock music keeps me off the hell city bus. Rock music will always look out for me. But I will not let my torture profanity demon shoot it down."