"Bartholomew was a sommelier of heavy metal. “Yeah. Not bad for a two-umlaut band. First album was so-so. Then they ran out of material—they write maybe two songs a year. Got into a black magic thing for their videos. Already passé.” “Isn’t that the whole point of heavy metal?” “Yeah. I’m the one who told you that,” he reminded me. “Heavy metal will never leave you behind.”"

"Pull your head back Hold your hands high Shake your body If it's too loud And you're burning hot Fill your heads With heavy metal thunder"

"I kept hearing that metal is dead and Ozzy's dead and people that like Ozzy are dead. I have never had an empty seat. I've always sold out, so who's saying it's all over?"

"Here's the thing. I always hear that whole 'metal is dead' crap. The truth of the matter is that when we started the Ozzfest, media-wise, yes, metal was dead. But as far as the kids went, it was still huge. It was just that radio and MTV decided it wasn't in vogue with what they wanted to do at the time, so the average person didn't hear too much about it. That's why when it comes to picking the new acts each summer, we have people out there on the internet and in the clubs looking for good music and finding bands that people are excited about. I want to know what the kids are into, because I don't trust the industry."

"All that stuff about heavy metal and hard rock, I don't subscribe to any of that. It's all just music. I mean, the heavy metal from the Seventies sounds nothing like the stuff from the Eighties, and that sounds nothing like the stuff from the Nineties. Who's to say what is and isn't a certain type of music?"

"Joining together to take on the world with our heavy metal Spreading the message to everyone here, Come let yourself go."

"The leathered armies have prevailed The Phantom Lord has never failed Smoke is lifting from the ground The riding volume Metal sound."

"Back in the Day Metal's king back then And still is to this day Others imitate or challenge But it never goes away"

"Live don't preach it If you can't don't teach it Accidental God loves heavy metal So I know he must want me."

"Why do you think some metalheads are so afraid of you?"

"Once upon a midnight, the metal flag was raised Long ago a sabbath black cut through the purple haze Upon a silver mountain a message loud and clear Screaming with a vengeance that we will forever hear."

"Death, doom and destruction rain down upon the forsaken ne being stands alone to save humanity A soldier born from the past on sad wings of destiny Powerful, unflinching and hearing the eternal force that will proclaim and assert metal's deliverance - The Redeemer of Souls!"

"Rising from darkness where Hell hath no mercy and the screams for vengeance echo on forever. Only those who keep the faith shall escape the wrath of the Metallian... Master of all metal."

"Call me insane, call me hard wired But it's the only noise I like Believe in loud and fast and higher I can tell the sound of wrong or right [...] What I hear I adhere Have no fear, say sincere Are you metal?"

"Heavy Metal is the law that keeps us all united free A law that shatters earth and hell Heavy Metal can't be beaten by any dynasty We're all wizards fightin' with our spell."

"Nothing evil, nothing sacred Just a power that's been created There to take you and possess you Shout it out with a voice from hell [...] I am metal and I'll never die We are metal and we'll never die"

"We don't allow any prick teasing bimbos on our program. If they don't put out they're thrown out of the van at sixty miles an hour. And they can turn some tricks at the truck stop. That's the best place to find wimmen and that's the best place to leave wimmen."

"As you know I have been preaching along with El Duce and Sickie Wifebeater for many years against homosexuality in rock and it's time to take revenge on people that try to stop rock. The real rock, hetero rock. There for Bowie is going on trial within Rock Kourt."

"Interviewer: Everybody's always wondering about the anal retentiveness of the lyrics. Are you guys really into anal sex? Is that really a large part of your life? Dr. Heathen Scum: Only heterosexual anal sex."