"Rep. Derounian: Mr Van Doren, I'm also from New York, a different part of New York. I'm happy that you made the statement, but I cannot agree with most of my colleagues. You see, I don't think an adult of your intelligence ought to be commended for simply, at long last, telling the truth."

"Martin Rittenhome: You see, the audience didn't tune in to watch some amazing display of intellectual ability. They just wanted to watch the money."

"Mark Van Doren: For $64,000, I hope they ask you the meaning of life."

"I remember five-six years ago my uncle Harold told my aunt about this affair he had. It was a sort of mildly upsetting event in my family... The affair was over, something like eight years. So I remember asking him, "Why did you tell her? You got away with it." And I'll never forget what he said. It was the getting away with it part that he couldn't live with."

"And they love me for the same reason they used to hate me, because I'm the guy who knows everything."

"[Referring to television] That box is the biggest thing since Gutenberg invented the printing press, and I'm the biggest thing on it."

"You know why they call them Indians? Because Columbus thought he was in India. They're Indians because some white guy got lost."