"[attempting many times to kill Dracula but fails] You can't run from me Prince of Darkness! I will hunt you for all eternity! I swear I will never rest until I destroy you... And... Every... Other... Monster... If it's the last thing... I... Ever... Do!!"

"Molly Shannon - Wanda"

"Aww, what a cute family. What?! No it's not! Dracula bad, Dracula bad!"

"Frank, would you rub some moonscreen on my back before I get burned?"

"[after Drac tampers with his DJ music to escape Frank's cousin] Whoa! The DJ booth is a sacred space!"

"This is amazing. There's so much to do. Olympic-size swimming pool… All-you-can-eat buffet… Full-service Spa? Whoo! I'm gonna get me a seaweed rewrap!"

"Hey, Murray. Here may be from Egypt, but you're the one in denial! Ha-ha-ha! Did you guys get that?"

"Kids Club? [to his wife] What's a kids club?"

"Did you guys hear that? He actually said "bleh, bleh-bleh"."

"[imitating Drac] "Don't worry, I'm over here. Bleh, bleh-bleh!""

"Were trapped! Everybody back!"

"The food here is to die for."

"Your neck wrappings look delicious would you like to see my parts?"

"Boy, that guy is annoying. Maybe one day there will be a place where monsters can go to get away from it all. Take a vacation, who knows? Maybe even get married. Wouldn't that be something?"

"[Ericka: It's time to start a new legacy!] A monster/human legacy."

"[seeing Wayne and Wanda in front of him and Ericka] Spies!"

"Don't say a word or I'll haunt your dreams!"

"FIRE BAD!!"

"I could not be more happy to welcome you all to our first ever monster cruise!"

"You were so right, great-grandfather Van Helsing. Monsters are disgusting."

"I've got to be a little more careful. I mean, how many times can you save my life, right?"

"Tinkles?! [to Dennis; sternly] Dennis."

"[about Ericka] I'm telling you, Johnny, there is something about that woman I don't trust."

"[to Mavis about Drac] You nailed, honey. Your dad is gonna love this. Best Summer vacation ever!"

"Oh, why… are you going to suck out my blood? Bleh, bleh-bleh!"

"Jake Picking - Chad"

"Robert Capron - Kyle"

"River Alexander - Peter"

"Jim Rash - Lewis"

"Maya Rudolph - Caitlyn"

"Rob Corddry - Kip"

"Ava Deluca-Verley - Katy"

"Amanda Peet - Joan"

"Toni Collette - Pam"

"Allison Janney - Betty"

"AnnaSophia Robb - Susanna"

"Steve Carell - Trent Ramsey"

"Nat Faxon - Roddy"

"[to Duncan, later repeated verbatim by Duncan to Susanna] Water Wizz Waterpark. Built in the summer of '83, it's the last bastion of everything that period stood for. In fact, it was decreed by its creator that this place shall never age. On his deathbed, he said "I don't want this place re-painted or updated I don't even want it brought up to code. And the minute somebody tries, it needs to be destroyed." We actually have a nuclear bomb for just such an occasion. Bought it off the Russians."

"Sam Rockwell - Owen"

"Liam James - Duncan"

"Zoe Levin - Steph Ramsey"

"Adam Riegler - Neil"

"Don't die wondering, man."