First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"No stray gets turned away."
"I'm suing you, I'm suing the state, I'm suing those kids, I'm suing the guy who invented shrink wrap, I'm suing everyone!"
"[runs into the kids' bedroom while brushing his teeth] Did I leave my whitening strips in here?"
"You sold a guy a rock in a box for $20."
"[has Friday the dog under his jacket] What's the matter? You've never seen a husky kid in a hoodie before?"
"Kevin Dillon — Carl"
"Lisa Kudrow — Lois"
"[to Max after Esther kills a bird] It's alright, it's in heaven now."
"[Threatening Daniel] If I find out you're lying, I'll cut your hairless little prick off before you even know what it's for. Do you understand? [...] [Looks down on Daniel's pants] You pissed yourself."
"From the Director of House of Wax."
"I don't think Mommy likes me very much. It must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own."
"Aryana Engineer - Max Coleman"
"Karel Roden - Dr. Varava"
"Margo Martindale - Dr. Browning"
"There's something wrong with Esther."
"Jimmy Bennett - Daniel Coleman"
"CCH Pounder - Sister Abigail"
"Isabelle Fuhrman - Esther/Leena Klammer"
"Peter Sarsgaard - John Coleman"
"Vera Farmiga - Kate Coleman"
"Can you keep a secret?"
"[Holding Kate's diary] Makes very interesting reading... I read about why Max is deaf. How you were drunk and drove the car into the lake? If John hadn't been there, she'd be dead now."
"[To Kate] It must be hard, having such an ear for music as you, with a son who is not interested and a daughter who can't even hear."
"[Holding a gun at Max] Do you want to play?"
"[about to kill Daniel] Don't worry, you are going to heaven."
"Ernie Grunwald - Harry Butkis"
"[as Alyssa, after eating escargot] All this money, and these people eat slugs?!"
"[as Alyssa] Ladies and gentlemen, normally, I'd be tickled to play a selection from... [briefly eyes the sheet music cover: "Frederic Chopin- Eight Pieces for the Piano"] ... Chopin, but in honor of my new stepmother, whom I absolutely adore, I've decided to play a little something of my own."
"I made my money the old fashion way - pure dumb luck."
"Two identical strangers. Two different worlds. One perfect match."
"When it comes to making the perfect match...Two heads are better than one! Especially if they look exactly alike."
"Mary-Kate Olsen - Amanda Lemmon"
"Ashley Olsen - Alyssa Callaway"
"Steve Guttenberg - Roger Callaway"
"Kirstie Alley - Diane Barrows"
"Jane Sibbett - Clarice Kensington"
"Philip Bosco - Vincenzo"
"Ellen-Ray Henessy - Fanny Butkis"
"[singing] When I dream on my own I'm alone but I ain't lonely. For a dreamer, night's the only time-a day."
"David Sidoni - Pie Eater"
"Mark David - Specs"
"Julia Pando - Katherine Plumber"
"Julia Bax - Mattie Conrad"
"Dominic Maldonado - Itey"
"Ivan Dudynsky - Dutchy"
"Joseph Conrad - Jake"
"Robert Feeney - Snoddy"
"David James Alexander - Governor Theodore Roosevelt"
"Kevin Michaels - Ten-Pin"
"Mathew Fields - Snipeshooter"