"Health insurance my ass! They don't pay for shit. You get sick on a Friday, they only pay from Monday through Thursday. You go to doctor A, they only pay for doctor B. You break your penis, they only fix vaginas!"

"Jonah Hill - Sherman Schrader"

"Robin Taylor - Abernathy (A.D.D.)"

"What is learning? It's paying attention. It's opening yourself up to this great big ball of shit that we call life, and what's the worst that could happen? You get bit in the ass. Well let me tell you: my ass looks like hamburger meat, but I can still sit down."

"Listen guys, there are plenty of successful people who didn't go to college. Albert Einstein. You know? Pocahontas never went to college. Corey Feldman and Corey Haim; they had a great run. Both Lewis and Clark. Suzanne Somers. Bono."

"I'm going off the grid. No more Franchises, no more botox, no more "Hey, oh, lets clone another goat," and certainly no more sexual harassment lawsuits, what's wrong with saying "Hey, nice tits." When did that go out the window?"

"Jeremy Howard - Freaky Student"

"Anthony Heald - Dean Van Horne"

"Joe Hursley - Maurice / The Ringers"

"You know a lot of people say that college is a time when young men and women expand the way that they look at their world when they open their mind to new ideas and experiences and when they begin that long journey form the innocence of Youth, to the responsibilities of Adulthood... now isn't that a load of horse shit! AHAHAHAHA!"

"Diora Baird - Kiki"

"The time has come for REVENGE OF THE NERDS"

"Let the battle begin!"

"Their time has come!"

"They've been laughed at, picked on and put down. But now it's time for the odd to get even! Their time has come!"

"It's time for the odd to get even!"

"From a preview trailer as the 20th Century Fox introduction plays: Star Wars. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Sound of Music: 20th Century Fox has had a long and proud tradition of showing uplifting movies about facing up to prevailing odds. Now in this manner, we are pleased to present another timeless film to this lineup: Revenge of the Nerds!"

"You know, when you were a baby in your crib, your father looked down upon you and had one wish: "Someday my son will grow up to be a man". Well look at you now; you just got your asses whipped, by a bunch of goddamn nerds. [removes hat and throws it against wall] NERDS!! Well, if I were you I would do something about it. I would get up and redeem myself in the eyes of my father, my Maker, and my coach!"

"We've got bush! We've got bush!"

"Curtis Armstrong — Dudley "Booger" Dawson"

"[singing] Clap your hands everybody, and everybody clap your hands. We are Lambda Lambda Lambda and Omega Mu. We come here on stage tonight to do our show for you. We got a rocking rhythm and a hi-tech sound that will make you move your body down to the ground. We got Poindexter on the violin, and Lewis and Gilbert will be joining in. We got Booger Presley on the mean guitar and a rap by little ol' me Lamar. We got Takashi beating on his gong, the boys and the Mu's are clapping along. And just when you thought, ya seen it all, along comes a Lambda four foot tall. So Wormser come on out here on the floor, so we can move our bodies, like never before. Break!"

"Brian Tochi — Toshiro Takashi"

"David Wohl — Dean Ulich"

"Larry B. Scott — Lamar Latrell"

"Michelle Meyrink — Judy"

"Julia Montgomery — Betty Childs"

"Matt Salinger — Danny Burke"

"John Goodman — Coach Harris"

"Ted McGinley — Stan Gable"

"Andrew Cassese — Harold Wormser"

"James Cromwell — Mr. Skolnick"

"Anthony Edwards — Gilbert Lowell"

"Robert Carradine — Louis Skolnick"

"Donald Gibb — Fred "The Ogre" Palowakski"

"Timothy Busfield — Arnold Poindexter"

"Well, you're a wanna-be, wanna be better than me!"

"You're just a jig-a-boo, tryin' to find somethin' to do!"

"Learn to articulate, you juvenile delinquent!"

"shouts: Wake up!"

"Bullshit, you're a goddamn virgin. You ain't seen no parts of the pussy."

"In life, there are times to be quiet,and there are times to shut to the fuck up. This is one of those times."

"You talk more shit than a little bit."