"Hedwig: It is clear that I must find my other half. But is it a he or a she? What does this person look like? Identical to me? Or somehow complementary? Does my other half have what I don't? Did he get the looks? The luck? The love? Were we really separated forceably or did he just run off with the good stuff? Or did I? Will this person embarrass me? What about sex? Is that how we put ourselves back together again? Or can two people actually become one again?"

"Hedwig: I lost my job at the base PX, and I lost my gag reflex. You do the math."

"TV: Good things come to those who wait."

"Hedwig: I scraped by with odd jobs, mostly the jobs we call blow."

"Hedwig: Tommy, can you hear me? From this milkless tit you sucked the very business we call show!"

"Hedwig: She came up to me after the show and I thought, "This lady wants a piece of me." So, you know, I was alone, I had nothing in my hand, I was gonna go for the eyes... She came at me from both sides and she gave me a fucking hug."

"Hedwig: How did some slip of a girlyboy from Communist East Berlin become the internationally ignored song stylist barely standing before you?"

"Hedwig: I tried singing once, back in Berlin; they threw tomatoes. After the show I had a nice salad."

"Hedwig: I got kicked out of university after delivering a brilliant lecture on the aggressive influence of German philosophy on rock and roll entitled "You, Kant, Always Get What You Want""

"Judy Engles – Candy Gulf"

"Charles Tyner – General Victor Ball"

"G. Wood – Psychiatrist"

"Eric Christmas – Priest"

"Ellen Geer – Sunshine Doré"

"Cyril Cusack – Glaucus"

"Vivian Pickles – Mrs. Chasen"

"Bud Cort – Harold Parker Chasen"

"Ruth Gordon – Dame Marjorie "Maude" Chardin"

"I would be remiss in my duty, if I did not tell you, that the idea of...... intercourse... and the fact of your firm, young... body..... commingling, with the... withered flesh... sagging... breasts... and flabby b-... buttocks... makes me want... to vomit."

"Well, what do you say, Harold? Ah, it's a great life. There's action, adventure, advising, and you'll get a chance to see the war first-hand. And there are plenty of slant-eyed girls. I'll make a man out of you, Harold. You'll travel the world, put on a uniform, and take on a man's job. You'll walk tall, with a glint in your eye and a spring in your step, and the knowledge in your heart that you are working for peace and are serving your country, just like Nathan Hale. Now, that's what this country needs - more Nathan Hales. [He salutes a picture of Nathan Hale] And, Harold, I think I can see a little Nathan Hale in you."

"I haven't lived... I've died a few times."

"Dreyfus once wrote from Devil's Island that he would see the most glorious birds. Many years later in Brittany, he realized they had only been sea gulls... For me, they will always be... glorious birds."

"Tom Skerritt – as Motorcycle Officer"

"Shari Summers – Edith Phern"

"Signora, between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come."

"What is it about love that makes us so stupid?"

"So I was now the owner of a villa whose lands it would take two oxen two days to plow. Owning neither an ox nor a plow, I'd have to take their word for that."

"What are four walls, anyway? They are what they contain. The house protects the dreamer. Unthinkably good things can happen, even late in the game. It's such a surprise."

"David Sutcliffe - Ed"

"Pawel Szajda - Pawel"

"Kate Walsh - Grace"

"Roberto Nobile - Placido"

"Mario Monicelli - Old man with flowers"

"Vincent Riotta - Martini"

"Raoul Bova - Marcello"

"Lindsay Duncan - Katherine"

"Sandra Oh - Patti"

"Diane Lane - Frances Mayes"

"The Only Thing More Surprising Than The Chance She's Taking...Is Where It's Taking Her"

"I still got it! I still got it! I still got it! — Thank God!"

"Life offers you a thousand chances ... all you have to do is take one."

"There is nothing to regret."

"What brings you to Positano?"

"Un signo di Dio. A sign from God."

"Sorry everybody, unscheduled stop."

"Fefe said "You have to live spherically, in many directions. Never lose your childish enthusiasm and things will come your way.""

"She's "Sylvia" in La Dolce Vita. She's very good actually."

"Jesus, Frances, how do you do it — how do you ever breathe again?"

"You know when you come across one of those empty shell people, and you think "What the hell happened to you?" Well there came a time in each one of those lives where they are standing at a crossroads... someplace where they had to decide whether to turn left or right. This is no time to be a chicken-shit, Frances."

"Life is strange."