"Julianne Grossman as Charlene / Marlene / Darlene / Yente / The Unsinkable Old Fat Lady / Commanderette Zircon / Princess Harley Van Patten / Pannakin's mother / Robohooker / Jasmine / Telephone Operator"

"Jessica Brown Findlay as Lenore"

"Bill Nighy as St. Germain"

"Jaime Murray as Carmilla"

"Peter Stormare as Godbrand"

"Adetokumboh M'Cormack as Isaac"

"Theo James as Hector"

"Emily Swallow as Lisa Tepes"

"Matt Frewer as The Bishop"

"Tony Amendola as The Elder"

"Alejandra Reynoso as Sypha Belnades"

"Malcolm McDowell as Varney"

"Titus Welliver as Ratko"

"Marsha Thomason as Greta"

"Graham McTavish as Vlad Dracula Tepes"

"James Callis as Alucard"

"Yasmine Al Massri as Morana"

"Ivana Milicevic as Striga"

"Amy Danles as Sara"

"Glynnis Talken as Julie Winters and Glorie"

"Michael Haley as The Maxx"

"I'm that part of you that escapes, Julie. I reflect what's deep inside, the image of strength and independence you felt before you were... violated. But as I absorb more misery and bitterness, I change. I fear what I am becoming, Julie. But now that you have seen this, the world can never be the same size again."

"What a cruel world, letting something this profound be conveyed in words this trite!"

"Life is pretty pathetic when even your own hallucinations lie to you."

"I was sitting under the Jones Street underpass yesterday. That's because I want to be a writer and writers gotta have experiences, like underpasses."

"No matter how low you are on the food chain, there's always somebody lower."

"Did my saying that shock you? GOOD! Writers are supposed to shock people."

"They're all necro-nerds and Sand freaks. They think death is romantic. Death is hard and cold and ugly, not some cute chick."

"I can't believe you want to get involved in that censorship crap."

"Cartoons are so pretentious."

"This doll is telling me things I don't want to hear and if it doesn't shut up in going brush it's head, I'm going to brush and brush until I brush off it's head."

"Somebody once said that a liberal is a conservative that's never been mugged. A few years ago I would have laughed. But today, I'm not so sure."