"I'm the king of the classroom, coolin' in the back. My teacher had beef, so I gave her a smack. She chased me out of class, she was strapped with a ruler. Went to the bathroom, rolled myself a wooler."

"Because I'm hard hittin', always bitten, cool as hell. I got the trees on my mirror so my car won't smell."

"(Girls!) To do the dishes, (Girls!) to clean up my room. (Girls!) To do the laundry, (Girls!) and in the bathroom. (Girls!) That's all I really want is girls."

"Your pop's caught you smokin', man, he says, "No way!" That hypocrite smokes two packs a day. Man, livin' at home is such a drag. Now your mom threw away your best porno mag (Busted).You gotta fight for your right To party!"

"Don't step out of this house if that's the clothes you're gonna wear. I'll kick you out of my home if you don't cut that hair. Your mom busted in and said, "What's that noise?" Aw, Mom, you're just jealous, it's the Beastie Boys!"

"Another plane, another train, another bottle in the brain. Another girl, another fight, another drive all night."

"Lookin' for a girl, I ran into a guy. His name was MCA, I said "Howdy," he said, "Hi.""

"Now my name is MCA, I've got a license to kill (Yeah) I think you know what time it is, it's time to get ill (Yeah) Now what do we have here, an outlaw and his beer? (Uh-huh) I run this land, you understand? I've made myself clear?"

"Because you're pud-slappin', ball-flappin', got that ju-ice. My name's Mike D, and I can do that Jerry Lewis."

"Pistol packin', Monkey drinkin', no money bum. I come from Brooklyn 'cause that's where I'm from."

"We got the bottle, you got the cup, Come on everybody let's get fff...up!"

"Got arrested at the Mardi Gras for jumping on a float, My man M.C.A.'s got a beard like a billy goat."

"The Patty Duke Show, the Wrench, and then I bust the Tango, Got more rhymes than Jamaica got mango."

"Running from the law, the press, and the parents. [Is your name Michael Diamond?] No, mine's Clarence."

"Sometimes known as the leader of the homeless, Sometimes drunk, and he's always phoneless."

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg? I egged the chicken, and then I ate his leg."

"Bust a Travis Bickle when I feel that I'm getting pushed. Don't step to me 'cause you could be getting mushed."

"People always asking, "What's the phenomenon?" "Yo, what's up?" "Yo, what's goin' on?" No one really knows what I'm talkin' about. And yeah, that's right, my name's Yauch..."

"(There's more to me than you'll ever know) And I got more hits than Sadaharu Oh."

"(Break up with your girl!) It ended in tears! Vincent Van Gogh, go and mail that ear!"

"Rapid fire Louie, like Rambo got bullets I'ma die harder, like my kid Bruce Willis."

"Predetermined destiny is who I am. You got your finger on the trigger like the Son of Sam."

"I am like Clockwork Orange, goin' off on the town. I've got homeboys bonanza to beat your ass down."

"I'm a writer, a poet, a genius; I know it. I don't buy cheeba; I grow it."

"All the wife beaters and all the tax cheaters Sitting in the White House pulling their peters."

"I've got more stories than JD's got Salinger I hold the title, and you are the challenger."

"Pickpocket gangsters paying their debts. Caught a bullet in the lung from Bernhard Goetz."

"I ride around town cuz my ride is fly. I shot a man in Brooklyn just to watch him die."

"Girl, you should be with me, you should drop that bum. Cuz I got more flavor than Fruit Striped Gum."

"Money Mark, you know he's not having it, Just give him some wood and he'll build you a cabinet."

"So what'cha, what'cha, what'cha want? (what'cha want?) I get so funny with my money that you flaunt. I said, "Where'd you get your information from, huh? You think that you can front when revelation comes?""

"Professor, what's another word for 'pirate treasure'?" "Well, I think it's 'booty'. Booty, booty, that's what it is."

"You shoulda' never started something you couldn't finish, 'Cause writing rhymes to me is like Popeye to spinach."

"I've got more rhymes than I've got grey hairs And that's a lot because I've got my share."

"I want to say a little something that's long overdue: The disrespect to women has got to be through. To all the mothers and sisters and the wives and friends, I want to offer my love and respect to the end."

"I can't stand it, I know you planned it. I'ma set it straight, this Watergate. I can't stand rocking when I'm in here, 'Cause your crystal ball ain't so crystal clear. So while you sit back and wonder why I got this fucking thorn in my side Oh my god, it's a mirage, I'm telling y'all, it's sabotage!"

"Sometimes I like to brag, sometimes I'm soft spoken, And when I'm in Holland I eat the pannenkoeken."

"I don't mean to brag, I don't mean to boast, But I'm intercontinental when I eat French toast."

"Have you seen what I mean, I'm the little gnome that's in your dreams."

"So I got a little something for your pay-per-view, Like Don King I've got the crazy hairdo."

"If you got bad breath then maybe try Scope. And if you wash your ass you best use soap."

"So kick off your shoes and put on your swim fins 'Cause when it comes to quarries I'm known to swim."

"Jazz and AWOL, that's our team, Step inside the party, disrupt the whole scene. When it comes to beats, well, I'm a fiend. I like my sugar with coffee and cream."

"If you try to knock me, you'll get mocked (Mocked) I'll stir fry you in my wok (Wok) Your knees'll start shaking and your fingers pop (Pop) Like a pinch on the neck of Mr. Spock (Spock)."

"Well it might sound odd, it might sound corny, But here's some sex rhymes for those that are horny."

"A sassy, sophisticated, sexy lady, Well I'm twenty-six, and you're eighty."

"Because I saw you at the checkout line; You dropped your coupons and you were looking fine. Sophisticated, and so mature, I couldn't really care if you're 50 or 74. Because I want ya, and I need ya. Hey boomin' granny, you could be my teacher."

"We don't get weapons contracts, nigga / We don't get cheap labor for our company, nigga / We ARE cheap labour, nigga / Turn off the news and read, nigga / read..."

"How could this be, the land of the free, home of the brave.. indigenous holocaust and the home of the slaves. Corporate America dancing offbeat to the rhythm. You really think this country never sponsored terrorism? Human rights violations we continue the saga, El Salvador and the Contras in Nicaragua. And on top of that you still want to take me to prison, just cause I won't trade humanity for patriotism."