"Alright, people. Let’s start at the beginning one last time. My name is Gwen Stacy. I was bitten by a radioactive spider, and for the last 2 years, I've been the one and only Spider-Woman. You guys know the rest. I joined a band, saved my dad. I couldn't save my best friend, Peter Parker, so now I save everyone else. And I don't do friends anymore, just to avoid any distractions. And one day this weird thing happened. And I mean, like, really weird. I was blown into last week literally. I landed in New York, but not my New York. My Spider-Sense told me to head to Visions Academy. [to Miles] Wasn't sure why until I met you. [Miles: [nervously] I like your haircut.] [deadpan] You don't get to like my haircut."

"I'm from another dimension. I mean, another–another dimension."

"I'm Gw– anda."

"ON YOUR LEFT! I got FIVE O'CLOCK! THREE O'CLOCK! TWO O'CLOCK!! EVERY DIRECTION!!!"

"You won't. It's a leap of faith. That's all it is, Miles. A leap of faith."

"Let me guess. You're Scorpion. Well, we're the Spider-... Gang."

"This could literally not get any weirder."

"Save it for Comic-Con."

"We're a little team! Me as the teacher who could still do it. You as the student who can do it, just not as good. I'm proud of us."

"Everybody knows that the best way to learn is under intense life-threatening pressure."

"Time to swing, just like I taught you. [Miles Morales: When did you teach me that?] I didn't. It's a little joke for team-building."

"Teenagers are just the worst."

"[narrating] Alright, people, let’s do this one last time. My name is Peter B. Parker. I was bitten by a radioactive spider. And for the last 22 years, I thought I was the one and only Spider-Man. What a day. [narrating] I'm pretty sure you know the rest. You see, I saved the city, fell in love, I got married– saved the city some more, maybe too much. My marriage got testy, made some dicey money choices, don't invest in a spider-themed restaurant. Then like 15 years passed. Blah, blah, blah. Super boring. I broke my back, a drone flew into my face. I buried Aunt May. My wife and I... split up. But I handled it like a champion. [crying in the shower] 'Cause you know what? No matter how many times I get hit, I always get back up. And I got a lot of time to reflect and work on myself. Did you know that seahorses, that they mate for life? Could you imagine? A seahorse seeing another seahorse– and then making it work? [line ringing as he trys to call MJ] She wanted kids and– and it scared me. [Hangs up] I'm pretty sure I broke her heart. Flash-forward: I'm in my apartment doing push-ups– doing ab crunches, getting strong– when this weird thing happened. And I gotta say, weird things happen to me a lot. But this was real weird. [Yells as he getting sucked into the wormhole] [screaming as he's heralding downtown] [Grunting as he hits everything] Ow! [narrating] You see, I was in New York, but the things were different. Also, I was dead, and blonde. I was kind of perfect. It was like looking in a mirror. (Well, in a different way.) I have a feeling that the thing that brought me here– was the thing that got him killed. You wanna know what happened next? Me too."

"Okay, let's do this one last time, yeah? For real this time. This is it. My name is Miles Morales. I was bitten by a radioactive spider, and for like 2 days, I've been the one and only Spider-Man. I think you know the rest. I finished my essay, saved a bunch of people, got hit by a drone (like Peter did), I did this with my dad (to remember my uncle), met my roommate finally, slapped a sticker where my dad's never gonna find it, and when I feel alone, like no one understands what I'm going through, I remember my friends who get it. I never thought I'd be able to do any of this stuff, but I can. Anyone can wear the mask. You could wear the mask. If you didn't know that before, I hope you do now. 'Cause I'm Spider-Man, and I'm not the only one, not by a long shot."

"Officer, I love you."

"I’ll always have my family."

"When will I know I'm ready?"

"How many more Spider-people are there? [Peter B. Parker: Save it for Comic-Con.] What's Comic-Con?"

"You can teach me to be Spider-Man!"

"I think you're gonna be a bad teacher."

"[final words to Kingpin before his death] I know what you're trying to do– and it won't work. They're gone."

"Alright, let's do this one last time. My name is Peter Parker. I was bitten by a radioactive spider, and for 10 years, I've been the one and only... Spider-Man. I'm pretty sure you know the rest. [ Ben Parker: With great power, comes great responsibility.] I saved a bunch of people, fell in love, saved the city, and then I saved the city again, and again and again, and again. And I did, uh– I did this. [cuts to Peter doing the infamous dance from Spider-Man 3; unlike the original, he has his Spider-Man suit on] We don't really talk about this. Look, I'm a comic book, I'm a cereal, did a Christmas album. I have an excellent theme song. [TV show song: Spider-Man, Spider-Man–] And a– a so-so popsicle. I mean, I've looked worse. But after everything, I still love being Spider-Man. I mean, who wouldn't? So no matter how many hits I take, I always find a way to come back. Because the only thing standing between this city and oblivion is me. There's only one Spider-Man, and you're looking at him."

"Here's lesson number one, kid: Don't watch the mouth. Watch the hands."

"Michael Clarke Duncan as Thomas Tatum/Quake"

"Khleo Thomas as Jason Fletcher/Sure Shot"

"Blair Underwood as Gregory Fletcher/Golden Blaze"

"Sanaa Lathan as Monica"

"Neil Patrick Harris as Comic Shop Owner"

"Ricky D'Shon Collins as Leon"

"June Foray, Thea Vidale – Mammy Two Shoes (edited)"

"Lillian Randolph – Mammy Two Shoes (original)"

"William Hanna – Jinx Mouse"

"Clarence Nash – Jasper Cat"

"I'm tired of trying to segregate, integrate, and masturbate anymore!"

"Ralph Bakshi – Cop With Megaphone"

"Frank de Kova – Madigan / Ruby"

"Richard Paul – Sonny"

"Al Lewis – The Godfather"

"Jim Moore – Mime"

"Buddy Douglas – Referee"

"Danny Rees – Clown"

"Scatman Crothers - Old Man Bone, Additional Voices"

"Charles Gordone - Preacher Fox"

"Barry White - Brother Bear"

"Philip Michael Thomas - Brother Rabbit"

"Scatman Crothers – Pappy"

"Charles Gordone – Preacherman"

"Barry White – Sampson"