Surf II

"Good ol' Buzzz Cola, gets them every time!"

"I used to want to be like the other kids, you know! I wanted to be a surfer! I wanted to be hip and bitchy and gnarly, but that's over now, it all ended one miserable afternoon: I was having an innocent soda, and they spiked it! And you know with what? [lifts up shirt to reveal a pair of breasts] With a powerful reverse-sex hormone! Do you know what it's like to be the only guy at the beach with tits?!"

"[repeated line] Can you relate?"

"[having an argument on the phone] Oh yeah, one more thing, O'Finlay: SCHLONG! [hangs up] What an asshole."

"[seeing his son sabotage his surfing bet] I'm gonna beat that kid like I don't know him."

"I want you to dust the beach for prints."

"Kids, if I need any shit out of you, I'll squeeze your heads."

"[repeated line] A-bow-bow!"

"[after watching a zombie smash open a vending machine with its head] Must be from L.A.! A-bow-bow!"

"Chuck's Dad: If you're worried about your kids, lock them up, beat them, do anything you damn well please, but for Christ's sake, don't stop innocent kids from drinking cola and surfing, it's the American way! [on the verge of tears] Surfing's built this town...and it's damn well built this country."

"Bob: Don't think, just drink!"

"Sparkle: Menlo Schwartzer was a genius...a brilliant chemist. Talk about having it all: he was short, ugly, near-sighted and carried a slide rule."

"Chuck's Mom: You people are so full of shit your eyes are brown!"

"The Movie That Gives Insanity A Bad Name!"

"Eddie Deezen - Menlo Schwartzer"

"Linda Kerridge - Sparkle"

"Eric Stoltz - Chuck"

"Jeffrey Rogers - Bob"

"Peter Isacksen - Beaker"

"Joshua Cadman - Johnny Big Head"

"Corrine Bohrer - Cindy Lou"

"Tom Villard - Jocko O'Finlay"

"Lyle Waggoner - Chief Boyardie"

"Morgan Paull - Chuck's Dad"

"Biff Manard - Bob's Dad"

"Ruth Buzzi - Bob's Mom"

"Terry Kiser - Jocko's Dad"

"Cleavon Little - Principal Daddy-O"