Monkey Trouble

"Kaye: He's so soft!"

"[The woman strokes the monkey]"

"Eva: I hope not!"

"Harold: That's quite a pet you've had there, young lady. [He turns to the woman] Isn't that some pet, Kaye? Does it bite?"

"[The man beams down at Eva]"

"Kaye: Oh, Harold, look at that little monkey! Isn't it precious?"

"[With curiosity, the couple comes over to Eva and the monkey]"

"Eva: Help, please... [She manages to squeak] Help..."

"[Luckily, just then, a nicely dressed elderly couple strolls into view]"

"[Its shiny black button eyes peer at her curiously. Then the monkey reaches out and touches her Dodgers cap. He coos, baring sharp front teeth that frightens Eva even more. But before she can breathe, think or move, the monkey drops to the ground and hugs her knees. Feeling trapped, Eva raises her hands]"

"[The brown-and-black ball is all furry––but it isn't a cat. It isn't a bird––it doesn't have wings. It isn't a squirrel––squirrels don't hang via their tails. It isn't like any animal Eva has ever seen up close before. She wants to shriek and run, but her feet are frozen. She stares more closely at this mysterious creature as it dangles upside down from a branch––and realizes she is eyeball to eyeball with a monkey]"

"[Suddenly, a dark brown-and-black ball drops right in front of her face. She stops dead instantly. Her knapsack slides out of her hands. Her eyes bug out]"

"[Eva kicks at the grass as she walks, head down and shoulders slumping. The sounds of the basketball game are fading behind her, and she doesn't notice the rustling in the trees lining the path]"

"[Muttering under her breath, Eva storms off the court. Speak about unfair, she thinks as she grabs her knapsack and leaves. Lately nothing has been going right, nothing at all. She has begged and pleaded for a pet, and no one seems to listen. They are all so caught up in other foolish nonsense––her mum and stepdad with the baby, her father with his job––that they don't realize how reluctant owning a dog can be. Eva wants something of her own to love and take care of. What is so weird about that?]"

"Coach: Alright, Boylan, that's it! Take a time-out!"

"[The coach's temper soars, as well]"

"[Sally grabs the ball. No fashion is Eva going to let her get away with that. She jumps back on one leg and kicks the basketball out of the other girl's grip, getting to know one another. It soars ten feet in the air]"

"Sally: I did not, you troublemaker!"

"Eva: You did so, you liar!"

"Sally: I did not! I never touched her!"

"Eva: She shoved me first!"

"[Eva swings around to face the coach]"

"Coach: Boylan, whaddya you think you're doing here?"

"[Eva charges right back. No fashion will her team lose because Sally has cheated. Eva smashes into Sally, sending her toppling to the ground. The coach catches this action and blows his whistle furiously]"

"[Eva is having a grand day as well, playing basketball in the park with her class. It is a rough and topple game, with a lot of shouting and shoving. Eva moves into position on the court, keeping an eye peeled on the basketball. She is really concentrating and playing extra hard. The ball is passed straight to her until Sally, from the other team, shoves her. Eva loses her balance and the ball. Of all the colossal nerve. She knows Sally has charged her on purpose]"

"[The monkey climbs out of the trash barrel and looks around. A pickup truck has stopped among the curb. Now is his chance to escape. Sticking close to the wall, the monkey edges to the street. The driver of the truck guns the engine. Just as he takes off, the monkey jumps onto the back of the truck. He jumps up and down in emotion. What a grand day to go for a ride––and pick all the bits of garbage out of his fur]"

"[He peeks out. A woman in torn clothes bends over the barrel and sticks a hand in. Is she trying to grab him? No, she is reaching for a half-eaten banana. That will make a nice breakfast. The monkey snatches the banana right out of the woman's hand and pulls it down out of sight. He peeks out again. The woman's mouth is wide open. She backs off in shock as if a Martian monster are chasing her. The coast is clear]"

"[He races across rooftops, but darts down a fire escape and dives into a trash barrel. He buries himself under the garbage until he is fully covered. Safe at last, he thinks. Or is he?]"

"[The monkey is moving fast]"

"[Where in the world has the monkey gone?]"

"[He is alone in the trailer]"

"[No response]"

"[Mumbling under his breath, Shorty takes two steps backward. He hits his head on an open cabinet door and curses. If that furry little ape has left him...Shorty runs to check in Mark's room, where he stumbles over a chair. Jumping up and down and howling, he calls out to his monkey]"

"[Shorty starts searching for the kettle as he spots an envelope propped on the table. It is addressed to him, in his wife's handwriting, but the message inside comes from his monkey. Did these wiggly little nonsense lines mean what he thinks they do? Has his monkey left him a farewell note?]"

"[Shorty whistles under his breath and gets up. Life is certainly going to be different once he has money. For starters, he'll dump this depressing trailer and find a new home. Perhaps hire a maid to pick up after him. He heads to the kitchen, stepping over chairs, yogurt containers and empty cereal boxes. There may not be too much to eat for breakfast this morning, but coffee will get him going]"

"[Shorty sits up and cheers. All that time spends training his monkey is eventually going to pay away. He'll pull aside the one big robbery, and Shorty Kohn will be rolling in dough. No more playing a hand organ on the Venice Beach boardwalk]"

"Drake: Looks like your monkey has a job. Call me as soon as you get in. The boss wants to meet you."

"[At that Shorty jerks awake, opening bloodshot eyes. This can be the message he is waiting for]"

"Drake: Shorty, this is Drake."

"[Across town in a Venice Beach mobile home, Shorty's phone begins to ring. The rumble of Shorty's snores drown out the phone. The responding machine picks up]"

"[That will be the day, since the little monster visits her third-grade class. Speak about major embarrassment]"

"Eva: My brother? Yuck. Forget it."

"Katie: Don't worry. You could always bring your baby brother."

"[Katie nudges Eva's arm]"

"[Jesse snickers at Eva and continues speaking]"

"Christine: That's what you've been saying all month, Eva. You have to learn to be more organized, to follow a schedule. Go ahead, Jesse."

"Eva: Tomorrow? I can't do it tomorrow! I forgot–––I'm not ready."

"Christine: Eva, please, wait! It's Jesse's time to speak. Do you want us to pay attention to you tomorrow if it's your turn?"

"Jesse: They're not getting rid of him!"

"[Jesse tightens her grip on Toto]"