Duplex (film)

"I'm coming. Slowly but surely!"

"Come along dear, don't be shy! It's French Onion."

"[the clock shows almost 5:30 PM] Oh, look at the time! I had no idea it was so late!"

"Could you give me a hand with the garbage? We don't wannna be feedin' the mice."

"[after Alex spills the garbage on the stairway and, disgusted, holds up Mrs. Connelly's underwear with a paper towel roll] What in heaven's name are you doin' with me drawers!?"

"It's pissin' down out there!"

"A bit of music and a bit of a dance!"

"It's loose as a Dublin whore!"

"Upchuck is a delicacy for Little Dick. He's salivatin'."

"Off we go, Dicky Boy."

"You caught me. I can't help but sneak a fag once in a blue moon."

"Nice seein' ya again, Kenneth."

"Use some elbow grease."

"Blow me down!"

"I could have sworn we had more stuff."

"[reading a dictionary entry] "Macaw: any long tailed, brightly-colored parrot." A macaw is a parrot, I knew it!"

"It's horrible. My parents read this magazine. Now they know my penis is called Mr. Peabody!"

"She just manipulated me somehow. She's very crafty. She's a crafty old…lady."

"Besides, how can I have time to rewrite my novel and still do my faithful servant duty to her as her little indentured servant person. Her little butt boy. I mean, I got a lot of duties, honey. She might need me to go out and count grapes with her, or help her fix her heater, or go take her to the laundry, or I got to go help her clean her banana skins, or I got to go clean out her garbage, and I got to go help her fill her monthlies out, or go and wipe her ass! God forbid she have any shit hanging off her ass! Because then I have to run up there double time like a little bunny, and I have to go up there with my little tissue and I have to go wipe her little ass and then I have to say, "Oh, good for you, Mrs. Connelly. Good for you for having such a nice little poopie. What's that? You've got some poopie on your diapey? Well let me clean it off—with my tongue!""

"Hello, Mr. Peabody!"

"It's a peacock!"

"Are those musical instruments?"

"We forgot to christen the apartment."

"What was she doing?"

"She puts on this sweet voice. "Nancy, could ya help meh, eh? I think I've found the leavings of a mouse!" Boo, hoo, hoo! As if she didn't know it was a raisin!"

"We'll finally be happy!"

"[muffled sound of Mrs. Connelly's very loud t.v.] I saw myself in the mirror and I thought it was my mother's tush."

"Tara: God, you're such a good squeezer, Nancy."

"Herman: I don't want it tickety boo, I want it tickety now!"

"Officer Dan: It's my experience that wives don't accidentally shoot their husbands in the penis."

"Alex and Nancy finally found their dream home…and then they moved in."

"It all started with one wrong move."

"Moving In September 26."

"Ben Stiller – Alex Rose"

"Drew Barrymore – Nancy Kendricks"

"Eileen Essell – Mrs. Connelly"

"Harvey Fierstein – Kenneth"

"Justin Theroux – Coop"

"James Remar – Chick"

"Robert Wisdom – Officer Dan"

"Swoosie Kurtz – Jean"

"Wallace Shawn – Herman"

"Maya Rudolph – Nancy's co-worker Tara"

"Amber Valletta – Celine"

"Michelle Krusiec – Dr. Kang"

"Tracey Walter – Pharmacy Customer"

"Danny DeVito – Narrator (voice)"