Batman: Arkham Asylum

"Some idiot is running around the asylum dressed like a bat. I know. Crazy! Stop him before he gets someone hurt. Really. It's for his own good."

"Do you really think it was going to be that easy, Bats? I've sent a few more of my boys your way. Let's see how you deal with these odds!"

"I like you boys. What you lack in brains, you make up in heart. Oh, and speaking of heart… bring me Batman's."

"Oh, boo! You win again, Bats. Well, savor it. I'll get you next time."

"Greetings, Gotham. This is the voice of your new master. Oh, hang on...I've skipped a bit!"

"Joker here! I'm in control of Arkham Island and you can all consider it out of bounds. If I see any lawmen, vigilantes or do-gooders in tights coming this way, I'll start detonating random bombs around the city."

"What'll it be? A kindergarten? A hospital? A billionaire's mansion? Oooh, choices, choices, choices."

"Hmm. Harley tells me that the Batman's car is still parked just outside of the Intensive Treatment building. Now, we can't just have him up and leave us, can we?"

"Every thug, villain, murderer, and kindergarten teacher that isn't carrying out party orders should head there now and smash it to pieces."

"The entire island will soon be under my control. That's right, boys and girls. Mine. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. Just wait till you see my plans for this place. It's going to be glorious."

"I just want everyone to know that I really appreciate all the hard work. You know, watching you guys is like a night in, watching my favorite movie. What was the name of that movie again? Oh, yes. Attack of the *stupid bumbling idiots who can't find an even bigger idiot running around dressed like a bat. Now get to it. I'm getting bored."

"Joker here! Let me remind all new residents of Joker Asylum that they are expected to follow 1 simple rule. Punishment for not following this rule is death. No ifs, ands or buts. You know what the best thing is *about the rule? It's a secret."

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm getting troubling reports of a bat infestation in Joker Asylum. Let me remind everyone that it is their civic duty to exterminate this vermin. We can't have it making its way back to the mainland."

"I'm just sitting here watching cartoons. If any of you Blackgate rejects is bored, come over and see me. Don't look up when you open the door. It'll spoil the surprise and my experiment."

"I'm having a great time. You guys just make it look too easy, like you're not even trying. Which is not what I pay you to do. Find everyone. Now."

"Anyone seen the big bad Bat? I warn you. He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot."

"Hello, I'm Warden Idiot. Here at Idiot Asylum, there's only rule. You'll never leave us!"

"Joker here. Remember. I'm watching all of you. Wherever you are. Even you. Yes, you!"

"Sorry, Has-Bane. The good doctor won't be a problem much longer. How do you like my puppet? What say we cut him down?"

"Oh, you little minx, I could never stay mad at you."

"I want all the doctors rounded up. Search every inch of the Medical building!"

"I mean it. Search every room, every office, and every trash can!"

"If another doctor tries to get out of the building, then you won't! I'll just flood the rooms with Happy Gas and leave you to die! Hell, I may do that anyway, sounds fun."

"Too easy! Oh, think about it, I've got you trapped in a little metal box, hanging precariously over a deadly drop, what say i just blow the emergency brakes AND DROP YOU LIKE A SACK OF PUPPIES?"

"Tell me, Bats. What are you really scared of? Failing to save this cesspool of a city? Not finding the Commissioner in time? Me, in a thong?"

"I've been waiting for you, listening to Zsasz make the good doctor scream while you played around in Scarecrow's world."

"How was it this time? Learn anything about yourself? Oh, tell me. Pull up a seat! Talk to me! I'm all ears."

"Actually, that reminds me. I could've sworn I heard Zsasz cutting her ears off. Certainly sounded like it. [Dr. Young]"

"Zsasz.... What are you talking about? Just kill her. She's useless to me now. [Dr. Young]"

"Oh, you're not scared of a little bat, are you, Slicey? [Victor Zsasz]"

"Yeah, stay back, Batman! You don't want more blood on your hands, do you? [Dr. Young]"

"That's the spirit! Now stick it to her! [Dr. Young]"

"Good evening, residents of Joker Asylum. Some of our... crazier guests have crashed the party early. And when I say crazy, I mean real psycho."

"Word of warning: If anyone sees a dribbling fool barking at the moon or maybe just purring like a kitten, do your civic duty. Walk up to them. Put your arm around them. Show them that you care. Before you wring their necks. [Laugh]"

"I've waited a long time for this, Bats. Let's start the party. With a bang! [Shoots Batman in the face with his gun]"

"Oh God... does she EVER stop going on about those plants of hers."

"Will you really? Well, that's gratitude, isn't it. Women! You give 'em presents, experimental chemicals, and nice costumes and they still turn on you."

"Well, good luck to you toots. I've got an army, a city-sized dose of Titan, and a bag of weed killer."

"Come and find me when you're done with Bat-brain. It'll be fun! You can bring the wine, I'll make the salad."

"Are you excited Bats? I mean, we've been building up to this point all night."

"Don't tell me you've not been looking forward to it. I know I have."

"SURPRISE! Everyone always said I should be in television."

"10,9,8,7654,3,2,1!" [bomb detonates]"

"You had to spoil everything, didn't you? Beating up Bane, feeding Scarecrow to Croc, slapping around Harley… MY hobby by the way, and ruining all my lovely venom plants."

"Ooh, here we go! We're going to have some fun now, kiddies! You're trying to resist the change! That's not fair! Come on! Give in! So, you wanna play hardball, Bats? Do ya? Your call! Tickle, tickle! Ow! You're ruining my big night! All those months of planning down the crapper! I just wanted to bring down your grim facade, and for once let you see the world as I see it, giggling in a corner and bleeding! But you've denied me even that! I have nothing left to live for. [injects himself with Titan]"

"Two freaks in a fight to the death!"

"My God! Is Joker crazy enough to try that...? What am I saying? You've got to stop him!"

"Can you hear me, Batman? I know you can. It is I, Edward Nygma, the Riddler, and more importantly, your intellectual superior. My genius has allowed me to hack into your primative communications. Ha ha. My goal is simple: you complete a series of amusingly taxing challenges and... well, you'll see."

"What? You're nearly done? Are you cheating? Looking them up on the internet? Tell me."

"I am Edward Nygma. The world's greatest detective."