"One more thing, if I lose any more of my men, YOUR ASS IS GRASS! [Pauses, realizing that Dr. Mittenhand's only organic parts are his head and right arm] If... if you've even got an ass!"

"Taylor Spreitler as Lila"

"Heather McDonald as Tory Reding"

"Ivory Ocean as Reverend Hanson"

"Caroline Williams as Loretta"

"Jack Ong as Chow Yung Pi"

"Marcelo Tubert as Gupta"

"Michael Callan as Mitch"

"Tim Colceri as Metal Head"

"Barima McKnight as Slug"

"John Gatins as Scott"

"Warwick Davis as Leprechaun"

"Lee Armstrong as Tammy"

"John DeMita as Fazio"

"A thousand years ago, a man stopped me from taking me bride! I'll not let it happen again!"

"Tom Dugan as Art"

"Welcome To Vegas... Your Losing Streak Is About To Begin!"

"Bebe Drake as Post's Mother"

"A curse be placed upon your seed, William O'Day. You may have saved your daughter, but on me next thousandth birthday, I'll stalk your fairest offspring and claim her as me bride! [Laughs] Happy St. Patrick's Day."

"Cry as you may, cry as you might; its going to be one hell of a wedding night."

"[To The Leprechaun] Tell me, what was Judy Garland really like?"

"[Disguised as Bridgette, laughing hysterically] You lose!"

"What do I want? I want brown hair. I want health insurance for all Americans. I want the Mets to get their shit together."

"Ladies and gentlemen, due to a slight solicrivilance in the stem of the wheel, the situation is thus - this table is now closed."

"Look at those tits! I wish I was a man so I could just screw myself right to the floor. And I dare you to feel that ass, Fazio. That's prime."

"Loretta, darling, if you want magic, bend over. I'll pull a rabbit out of your ass."

"['As he's being sawn in half] Caesar's... Palace..."

"You need more than a boob job, Loretta. You need a personality transplant."

"[The Leprechaun manifests a topless Bridget in front of Ian] A vision before you appears to be true. But a leprechaun's magic fools humans like you."

"Mark Holton as Ozzie"

"I'm not an elf and I'm not a dwarf. I'm a leprechaun."

"Leigh-Allyn Baker as Waitress"

"The path to power is often soiled with innocent blood, and I will let nothing stop me from becoming king. I'll have power and glory, and a beautiful queen to share it with. Share... Now there's a word that lies crooked upon me. The very sound of it sends my teeth to grate and conjures up pictures of me gold being carted off to pay for feminine pleasures, leaving me with less than what I want, and what I want is everything. I'll wed her, bed her and bury her all in the same day. I wonder if her father will pay for the wedding AND the funeral."

"Donna M. Perkins as Jackie Dee's Wife"

"[Correcting Nathan about the Leprechaun not being a bear who came into the house] Nathan, that was no fuckin' bear."

"[To her father, upon arrival to cabin] I am going to be miserable here. There's no swimming pool, there's no shopping malls, there's no cable. Bet you don't even have a TV. This sure ain't Beverly Hills."

"[Appears on the TV as a psychic doing a commercial] The signs point to a tragedy about to happen: casino owner dies in a bed of lies."

"Now that was quite a load to have to explode. What a lovely lass, I had to blow up your ass but now I must hit the road!"

"Warwick Davis as Leprechaun"

"[Appears on the TV as a injuries compensation lawyer doing an infommercial] Feeling sick? Stubbed your toe? Call this lawyer. I'll fix your woe. Agony is my business. I'll fight for you! Even you, Mitch."

"[To an East Indian pawn shop owner after being revived granitized] Mmm, I like Indian food. So spicy!"

"[Phones the police for help] Help. Help. It's happening. The attack is on. O'Grady farm. Uh, send help. The leprechaun is attacking. Army, navy, guns, marines. And we're gonna need some medicine."

"[Finding a derelict pick up truck out in the field, to Alex ] Don't cut yourself on any of this old rusty metal. If you do, it will make your jaw lock shut."

"Ah... lovely golden palaces completely full of riches. I'll rip 'em off and rob 'em blind, those dirty sons of bitches."

"Jennifer Aniston as Tory"

"[Holds up his slingshot to shoot the four-leaf clover at the Leprechaun] Hey, Lep! Fuck you, lucky charms!"