"[In the middle of a car chase he explains to Carrie why they are being pursued] Oh, I forgot to tell 'ya. I'm running blocker for 400 cases of illegal booze!"

"[On why he's going to make the run to Texas and back] For the good 'ol American life. For the money, for the glory, and for the fun. Mostly for the money."

"[to Snowman's wife] I find it hard to look at you Waynette, especially when you've got those things in your hair. Makes me think you're listening to a radio station in Savannah."

"[to Big and Little Enos] Oh, I love your suits. It must be a bitch finding suits size 68 extra fat and a 12 dwarf."

"Apology accepted. Now, [a truck passes by, blowing its air horn and conveniently obscuring his profanity] fuck off."

"[Responding to a policeman who was unable to stop Bandit at a roadblock] You sumbitches couldn't close an umbrella!"

"[After trying to pass Snowman and being pit maneuvered] What we're dealing with here... is a complete lack of respect for the law."

"[On the CB radio, hailing the Bandit] You got trouble comin'. My handle is Smokey Bear, and I'm tail-grabbin' yo' ass right now!"

"She insulted my town! She insulted my son! [Junior starts to say something] Shaddup! She insulted my authority! And that's nothin' but pure and simple old-fashioned communism. Happens every time one of those dancers starts poon-tangin' around with those show-folk fags! I can see her now... runnin' back up that aisle. No, she was dancin' back up the aisle. Her knockers bouncin' all over the joint. Her ass was wigglin' too!"

"Now, you boys just stay here and watch the car - might be some vandals around, wanna steal somethin'. So you boys just stay here and keep your hands on the car until one of my associates arrive. And don't go home. And don't go to eat. And don't play with yourself. Wouldn't look nice on my highway. You can think about it, but dooon't do it."

"Oh, him? Name's Kelly. Used to be a lieutenant. Pretty good one, too. Till they gave orders to attack the wrong hill. Wiped out half a company of GI's. Somebody had to take the blame and he got picked."

"Ross Elliott - Colonel Booker"

"Karl-Otto Alberty - Tiger tank commander"

"George Savalas - First Sergeant Mulligan"

"David Hurst - Oberst Dankhopf"

"Len Lesser - Tech Sergeant Bellamy"

"Harry Dean Stanton - Private Willard"

"Tom Troupe - Corporal Job"

"Perry Lopez - Private "Pachuco" Petuko"

"Richard Davalos - Private Gutowski"

"Hal Buckley - Captain Maitland"

"Jeff Morris - PFC "Cowboy""

"Stuart Margolin - Private "Little Joe""

"Shepherd Sanders - "the Turk""

"Gavin MacLeod - PFC "Moriarty""

"Donald Sutherland - Sergeant "Oddball""

"Carroll O'Connor - Major General Colt"

"Don Rickles - Staff Sergeant "Crapgame""

"Telly Savalas - Master Sergeant "Big Joe""

"Clint Eastwood - Private Kelly"

"They set out to rob a bank... and damn near won a war instead!"

"Never have so few taken so many for so much."

"[Upon seeing Kelly, assuming Kelly is there to yell at him for shelling Kelly's unit by accident the previous night] Wait, Kelly, wait. Will you listen to me a second? Will ya listen to me! It's not me, I tell ya, it's not me! I - I can't tell one shell from another, they all look alike! They all look alike. If was me, if I could tell, would I be here? WOULD I BE HERE?! I wouldn't be here, Kelly!"

"I'm gonna decorate every man in this penetration unit, whoever they are. They saved the reputation of this entire army. [To his officers] You're the ones supposed to be fightin' this battle, and you don't even know where the hell it is! Well, I'll tell you where it is. It's thirty miles beyond where you thought it was. Booker! Come on, now, let's get this army of mine back in the war!"

"[Listening to Kelly on the radio] Attack, attack, attack! Listen to this guy! That's the kinda fighting spirit I was talkin' about! If he's a major he's a colonel now!"

"We see our role as essentially defensive in nature. While our armies are advancing so fast and everyone's knocking themselves out to be heroes, we are holding ourselves in reserve in case the Krauts mount a counteroffensive which threatens Paris... or maybe even New York. Then we can move in and stop them. But for 1.6 million dollars, we could become heroes for three days."

"Ben Vereen - O'Connor Flood"

"Michael Hinton (uncredited) - band drummer"

"Wallace Shawn - Assistant insurance man"

"C. C. H. Pounder - Nurse Blake"

"Robert Levine as Dr. Hyman"

"Ben Masters - Dr. Garry"

"Sandahl Bergman, Eileen Casey, Bruce Anthony Davis, Gary Flannery, Jennifer Nairn-Smith, Danny Ruvolo, Leland Schwantes, John Sowinski, Candace Tovar, and Rima Vetter - Principal dancers"

"Anthony Holland - Paul"

"Chris Chase - Leslie Perry, film critic"

"Jules Fisher - Jules"

"John Lithgow - Lucas Sergeant"

"Deborah Geffner - Victoria Porter"

"William LeMassena - Jonesy Hecht"

"Max Wright - Joshua Penn"