"Lesbian Nazi hookers abducted by UFOs and forced into weight-loss programs, all this week on Town Talk!"

"Look up! Look down! Now look at Mr. Frying Pan! [George conks Bobbo in the face with the frying pan] Uh-oh. Bobbo fal…"

"You gotta grab life by the lips and YANK as hard as you can."

"Oh, no. What time is it!? [arm with a watch breaks through the wall, George looks at the watch] Seven THIRTY!?"

"[to Satan] Oh, shut up, you pinhead! You make me SICK!"

"Right now I'd like to show you one of my favorite cartoons. It's a sad, depressing story about a pathetic coyote who …"

"[Message left on Teri's answering machine] Teri! I'm sorry! Come on give me one more chance please! Come on Teri! Ter…"

"[while sculpting a plate of mashed potatoes] This means something. This is important!"

"WE DID IT! THE STATION'S OURS!!"

"Sex with furniture, what do you think?"