"I have never yet met a barber who didn't know everything, and such being the case it is only right that he be given h…"

"A cold plunge is bracing. Have the bath about three-quarters full of cold water. Lock the bathroom door. Slap the wat…"

"For your next bath try a can of tomato soup. It gives you that schoolgirl complexion all over. You wouldn't know what…"

"... Why don't you put this beer out in the sun to get cool? If it was any flatter you'd have to serve it on a plate."

"I have taken precautions about losing the front door-key. I have it tied around my waist underneath my singlet. It me…"

"Perhaps I'd better explain the game before we go any farther. Chess is played on a black and white board. All the whi…"

"As the old adage says, "There is many a true word spoken in chess.""

"I never did care much for cocktail parties. I'm all the time looking for a place to put the olive-stones. You can't p…"

"The coconut is a good, hard-wearing fruit, easy to handle, and amenable to discipline. Cut in half and hollowed out t…"

"Australia is now a nation. We are entitled to call ourselves a nation because we owe several billion pounds abroad an…"