""'Trust me', he says. Ha! I'd sooner trust a vampire to give me a shave". ~Simon"

"Kevin: Your powers don't scare us! Dracula: I'm so happy to hear that. You know, fear makes de blood taste terrible."

"Kevin: Stay close. I think the bridge goes this way. Lana: What if you're wrong? Kevin: Then we'll be getting some fr…"

"Simon: (under the effects of a love arrow) How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. One is for your little button-n…"

""It's a good thing for you I'm an animal lover. Now scoot, before I change my mind and make fur underwear out of you"…"

"Lana: Some guide you are. Simon: An honest mistake. Mountain lions are related to dogs, you know. Lana: They're relat…"

""I didn't save you. I saved him. He gets awful indigestion from eatin' strangers. Keeps me up all night". ~Bayou Billy"

""Oh, he's probably just feeding the alligators...with himself". ~Simon"

""I'm gonna scramble your eggplant when I get my gloves on you!" ~King Hippo"

""Abandon ship! Women and Simons first!" ~Simon"