"Do you recognize me? I used to be a respectable citizen. I had a good job and a promising future. I made only one mis…"

"A date with her is every man's dream come true. And with dreams like her - who needs nightmares?"

"Bruce Willis - Walter Davis"

"Kim Basinger - Nadia Gates"

"John Larroquette - David Bedford"

"William Daniels - Judge Harold Bedford"

"George Coe - Harry Gruen"

"Mark Blum - Denny Gordon"

"Phil Hartman - Ted Davis"

"I just have this chemical imbalance almost like an allergy to alcohol. It just makes me crazy!"