"Oh, Aunt Agnes, just remember: you are not losing a niece, you are gaining a man who is... awfully good at croquet and who can probably greet the wedding guests in Greek, Latin... and hieroglyphics."

"Time to spread the British Empire."

"I wish that Cedric was more like you. He is such a queer fellow and you're always... so gay."

"Ten years, plus two for having pleaded not guilty, making thirteen years in all."

"[writing in his diary, recording his first impressions of Emily] There is something about her slim, elegant figure that rather reminds me of Edward....hmmmmmm."

"Robert Portal- Cedric"

"Sean Pertwee - George"

"Beau Mirchoff as Robbie Ryan"

"Michael Madsen as Oliver"

"Molly Shannon as Marilyn"

"Leslie Nielsen as President Harris"

"Bill Pullman as Henry Hale"

"Carmen Electra as Holly"

"Craig Bierko as Tom Ryan / Horrace P. McTitties"

"Bury the grudge. Burn the village. See the saw."

"Anna Faris as Cindy Campbell"

"Chris Elliott as Ezekiel"

"Regina Hall as Brenda Meeks"

"Longer... Raunchier... Funnier!"

"Enter at your own risk!"

"The funniest thing you ever sawed."

"Based on True Events"

"Vanessa Minnillo as Ashley"

"The fourth and final chapter of the trilogy"

"30 seconds left!"

"Of course. He wants us to cut through our feet!"

"NEVER! Who's the coward NOW, Mama?"

"I just tell people to "get real." I'm not even a doctor... I'm an electrician. I failed you, Shaq. I failed you."

"What the hell was that for?!"

"Your FEELINGS?! To hell with your feelings! Everybody with their feelings! "I'm obese, my kid's a brat, help me, help me! JUST SHUT UP!!! (cries) Why can't I fix anyone of them?! I'm so dumb and worthless! Mama was right, Mama was right! (sobs)"

"I did it! We're saved! What's wrong?!"

"Not exactly."

"I don't know! I was doing a show on teens with abandonment issues and then suddenly, I blacked out and woke up here! Man, those kids are gonna be pissed!"

"Hit the metal arm with something. There!"

"Shaquille. I'm not angry at you, 'cause we ARE one minute away from Death. Just shut the "No" voice. Own your success."

"Gentlemen, you don't know me, but I know you. You both play games with people for a living, but now you are going to be playing for your lives."

"What's the difference between a Belgian and a lump of dog shit? The Belgian drinks wine, but the dog shit smells good!"

"I'm sorry for killing millions of people. Whatever!"

"We are so fucked."

"Just make the damn basket!"

"What?! We at peace now, I was just sealin' the deal!"

"This is some shit, up with which we will not put."

"(holding up Shaquille O'Neal's femur) I don't believe it! The aliens killed a dinosaur!"

"Well, they don't call it churnin' where I come from!"

"All I've got is my kids, and my car. They mean the world to me. [slams Rachel's head in car door.]"

"Gee, I wonder why I spend every waking moment of my life operating a crane... God, I hate my job. [starts playing with a crane machine]"

"(having a nightmare) Lil' Kim- Lil' Kim got my sandwich. Look out- Russell Crowe's got a phone! R. Kelly, don't pee on me! MY LOVELY LADY LUMPS! Where are we?!"

"[After finding Michael Jackson with a group of children] Run away, kids! Run TOWARDS the Tri-pods if you have to!"