"[coming across zombified Pete] Ah! Sorry, Pete, sorry... listen, we're gonna borrow your car, okay, hope you don't mind and – ah – later on, if you're feeling better, w-we're going down to the pub, so you're m-more than welcome to, to... [whispered] join us.(A reference to The Evil Dead)."

"How's that for a slice of fried gold?"

"[Seeing a zombie without an arm] Ohh, for God's sake! He's got an arm off!"

"[repeated line, about his copy of Man Parrish's "Hip Hop Be-Bop"] That was the second album I ever bought!"

"[Repeated line about Phillip.] He's not my dad. He's my stepdad."

"[Response to David.] GET FUCKED, FOUR-EYES!"

"As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "i" in meat pie. Meat is the anagram of team... I don't know what he's talking about."

"Andrew Sachs - Gerard"

"Mel Brooks - Moses, Comicus, Tomas de Torquemada, Louis XVI of France and Jacques le Garçon de Pisse"

"Orson Welles - Narrator"

"Brooks casts his comedic eye at humanity's past and... seems to view our story as one of big guys keeping little guys down. To quote the film's most famous line: "It's good to be the king." ...King Louis XVI (Brooks) goes clay pigeon shooting with peasants, where a man is thrown in prison for saying the lower classes "ain't so bad" and where the Roman Senate angrily shouts "F**k the poor!" Brooks doesn't merely lampoon economic injustices. Sexism, racism, anti-Semitism and human cruelty in general are all satirized... If there is a running theme in Brooks' view of major historical events..., it is that people with money and power have great lives. For people without those things — or who belong to marginalized groups in general — life stinks. ..the genius of "History of the World" is that it manages to subtly convey Brooks' social critiques in the packaging of a zany Borscht Belt comedy. If climate change and pollution destroy the human race, and an alien civilization was to find just one work of art to understand the human condition, I can't think of anything better than "History of the World." This is not being said in jest. "History of the World" captures one of the greatest joys of human existence — the ability to laugh — even as it recounts some of the most important events in our collective story. Perhaps most significantly, it chronicles the stupidity and selfishness that will have led to our downfall."

"Mel Brook's History of the World - Part I shows its stripes right from the opening scene. In this Dawn of Man episode, apelike creatures rise up from the mud, learning to stand erect and reaching nobly toward the heavens. Then they begin bumping, grinding, rutting, gyrating and otherwise slipping back to the slime from whence they came. The movie, like these primitives, delights in being lowdown. Even by prehistoric standards, Mr. Brooks's latest comedy is especially crude... There are loads of familiarly funny gags in the film... But the movie is so sour that its humor is often undermined, because so many of the jokes are either mean-spirited or scatological, or both. Women are either explicitly predatory or stupidly decorative, and homosexuals are made fun of regularly. Bathroom jokes are everywhere. Flamboyantly bad taste, which Mr. Brooks raised to the level of supreme wit in his Springtime for Hitler number in The Producers, is this time just bad. A musical number about the Spanish Inquisition, with Mr. Brooks playing a torturer who merrily abuses Jews, is about as crashingly unfunny as a musical number can be...In Rome, we... watch a gladiator on an unemployment line, being asked... Did you kill last week? Did you try to kill last week?... As a waiter at the Last Supper, Mr. Brooks is seen asking the apostles whether they'd like separate checks. As Moses, addressed by the Lord, he mutters: Yes, I hear you, I hear you. A deaf man could hear you!"

"IN MEL WE TRVST"

"A little something to offend everyone..."

"Ten million years in the making. The truth, the whole truth, and everything, but the truth!"

"John Hurt - Jesus Christ"

"Charlie Callas - Soothsayer"

"Barry Levinson - Column Salesman"

"Hugh Hefner - Roman outside Temple of Eros"

"Paul Mazursky - Roman officer"

"Mary-Margaret Humes - Miriam"

"Bea Arthur - Dole office clerk"

"Sid Caesar - Chief Caveman"

"Shecky Greene - Marcus Vindictus"

"Andreas Voutsinas - Béarnaise"

"Spike Milligan - Monsieur Rimbaud"

"Pamela Stephenson - Mademoiselle Rimbaud"

"Gregory Hines - Flavius Josephus"

"Ron Carey - Swiftus Lazarus"

"Cloris Leachman - Madame Defarge"

"Harvey Korman - Count de Monet"

"Madeline Kahn - Empress Nympho"

"Dom DeLuise - Emperor Nero"

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines."

"All right, Striker, you listen, and listen close. Flying a plane is no different from riding a bicycle; it's just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes."

"The Plane's going to Chicago. The Pilot's going to New York. The Passengers are going to Pieces!"

"The craziest flight you'll ever take!"

"Thank God it's Only a Motion Picture!"

"What's slower than a speeding bullet, and able to hit tall buildings at a single bound?"

"Radio Announcer: "WZAZ in Chicago where disco lives forever" (The Airplane then took out the antenna forcing the station to go off the air)."

"It was a rough place - the seediest dive on the wharf. Populated with every reject and cutthroat from Bombay to Calcutta. It's worse than Detroit."