Science Fiction

"You've probably heard the rumors before now. Everyone without the clearance level to know better wants to get their dig in. "Did you hear Sasquatch is an SCP? Are we gonna capture and contain Batboy next?" Yes. SCP-1000 is Bigfoot. I'm sure you've snickered. Don't worry. Contrary to rumors, we don't actually assign you to "Keter duty" for finding something humorous. You think Bigfoot is funny because we want you to think Bigfoot is funny. We've bankrolled Hollywood comedies and farcical documentaries, paid off men in gorilla suits, perpetrated hoaxes with bear prints and goat fur, bribed and brainwashed cartoonists to get especially silly depictions on children's television. Even the term "Bigfoot" comes from us, planted in the media in 1958, a term people would find even harder to take seriously than "Sasquatch"."

"As humanity blinked in the Pleistocene sun, SCP-1000's population exploded across the night. They blanketed the planet in the tens of billions. They made things that we still can't comprehend, even though we've thoroughly studied the surviving pieces. Organic technology. They made trees and birds of prey grow into fast-moving ships, herds of animals that became trains, bushes that became flying vehicles. From insects and pigeons they made things equivalent to cell phones, televisions, computers. Atomic bombs. The Children describe vast shining cities, stretching across glaciers and penetrating the deepest caverns, grown skyships of ivory and spider-silk, creatures tending them with hundreds of blinking eyes."

"We wiped out 70% of SCP-1000's population in a single day. The Day of Flowers, the Children called it. Supposedly every flower bloomed that day, while our enemies died in their sleep."

"We slaughtered their living machines and burned their vast shining cities with SCP-1000's bioweapons that reduced everything to slurry and dust that washed or blew away in spring rain and wind."

"SCP-1981 appears to be a home video recording of former United States President Ronald Reagan delivering his "Evil Empire" speech to the National Association of Evangelicals at Sheraton Twin Towers Hotel, Orlando, FL on 3/8/1983. However, at 1 minute and 10 seconds, the speech begins to deviate heavily, eventually resembling no known speech ever made by Reagan. Beginning at approximately 5 minutes, multiple incisions, lacerations and penetration wounds can be seen being slowly inflicted, though no corresponding source of these wounds is visible. Despite suffering bodily harm that would likely incapacitate an ordinary person, Reagan will continue to deliver his speech until either his vocal cords are severed or the tape degrades to static at 22:34."

"Once the instance of SCP-1459-1 is deceased, one (1) cookie will be dispensed to the player via the slot in the front of the machine. Cookie flavors dispensed have included chocolate, vanilla, oatmeal, raisin, strawberry, lemon, white chocolate, and peanut butter. The exact variety dispensed to a given player is often the one that the player has the lowest preference for."

"In roughly one in seven viewings of SCP-1981, a figure clothed in black robes with a conical hood will have replaced a random member of Reagan's press detail, henceforth referred to as SCP-1981-1. The significance of the appearance of SCP-1981-1 is currently unknown."

"The speeches delivered by Reagan are mostly incoherent, lacking any sort of underlying thematic structure and largely being composed of nonsensical anecdotes and parables. However, occasionally references are made to future events that Reagan could not possibly have known about or predicted, such as the September 11 terrorist attacks, the result of the 2008 Russian elections, and █████ ██████████."

"Ronald Reagan: For the first time we have risen, and I see we are being consumed. I see circles that are not circles. Billions of dead souls inside containment. Unravellers have eaten country's moral fabric, turning hearts into filth. I'm from a kingdom level above human. What does that yield? A hokey smile that damns an entire nation."

"Ronald Reagan: I've been to the steel mills of Alaska, and the cornfields of Nebraska. I've seen the derelict offices of Google burn with the window boarded up and the squatters inside them. I've seen the houses where they cut up the little babies."

"Dr. William Fritz: We can only suspend God’s disbelief so many times before the universe just says “no”. And considering what we’ve had to deal with in these past few decades, we may have passed that point already."

"SCP-2000 is a subterranean Foundation installation originally constructed sometime in the last ███ years for the purpose of reconstructing civilization in the event that a K-Class end-of-the-world scenario could not be averted in time to prevent humanity's extinction or near-extinction. Since its inception, SCP-2000 has been activated at least twice. Foundation records regarding SCP-2000’s construction and history prior to this assumed first use have been lost."

"Dr. Hamm: The Pestilence? What do you mean?"

"O5-1: You know my number, and I know enough about you to make a duplicate that even your mother wouldn't be able to tell apart from the real you. No, that's not a threat, just a fact."

"SCP-106 appears to be an elderly humanoid, with a general appearance of advanced decomposition. This appearance may vary, but the “rotting” quality is observed in all forms."

"SCP-3883-1: Have you seen me? I'm a tentacle! I should be part of a giant abomination or some city-destroying monster, not… not a mating substitute! It's… it's just embarrassing."

"We die in the dark, so humanity may live in the light."

"Secure, Contain, Protect."

"We are cold, not cruel."

"Administrator: Learn to embrace the darkness, friends. Fear the light."

"O5-1: I'm not sure which scares me worse. That we'll never understand the Factory… or that we one day will."

"O5-1: For forty years, the Anderson Factory cranked out all sorts of things for people. Meat, clothes, weapons. Never mind that the beef might be mixed with human. Don't care that the weapons were forged in blood. No attention need be paid that the clothes were dyed with…well, you get the idea. Rumors leaked out, but the products were so good, why bother? Until someone got out."

"O5-1: We moved away from the Factory. Shut it down. Moved our things out of there. We changed the name from things to Special Containment Protocols, focusing on containing them, not… anything else. The others were curious, but understood I had my reasons. I boarded up the Factory. Locked it shut. Buried it under a ton of rubble, saying it was too dangerous. I thought… thought I'd gotten away with it. Until I found a thing on my desk. One of the old toy guns that shot real bullets. And it had the Factory label on it."

"O5-1: The actions we have taken here are ethically ambiguous. I freely admit that. What we are doing would be, in the eyes of most people, unforgivable. But we are no stranger to unforgivable things. No doubt that many of you working on this project have been forced to take similar actions in the past for the sake of the Foundation. For that, I am eternally grateful."

"Three groups of soldiers are fighting throughout Site-01. One group is Mobile Task Force Alpha-1 ("Red Right Hand"). One group is Mobile Task Force Omega-1 ("Law's Left Hand"). The third group is unknown, but tactics are consistent with Foundation training."

"SCP-049: (In French) So then, how should we begin? An introduction?"

"SCP-049: (In English) The King's English! No need for translation, sir, I can speak it well enough."

"Dr. Hamm: Good. My name is Dr. Raymond Hamm, and I-"

"SCP-049: The Scourge! The Great Dying. Come now, you know, the, uh… (taps temple furiously) …what is it they call it, the… the… ah, no matter. The Pestilence, yes. It abounds outside these walls, you know. So many have succumbed, and many more will continue to, until such time as a perfect cure can be developed. Fortunately, I am very close. It is my duty in life to rid the world of it, you see. The Cure To End All Cures!"

"Dr. Hamm: When you say "The Great Dying", are you talking about the bubonic plague?"

"Dr. Hamm: I see. Right, well, the entities our agents encountered at that house, they were dead when you encountered them, yes? And you reanimated them?"

"SCP-049: Hrmm, in a manner of speaking. You see things too simply, doctor! Expand your horizons. Life and death, sickness and health, these are amateur terms for amateur physicians. There is only one ailment that exists in the world of men, and that is the Pestilence. And nothing else! Make no mistake, they were very ill, all of them."

"Dr. Hamm: The things we recovered were not human."

"SCP-049: Yes, well, it is not a perfect cure. But that will come with time. And further experimentation! I have spent a lifetime developing my methods, Dr. Hamm, and will spend a lifetime more, if necessary. Now, we have wasted too much time. There is work to do! I will require a laboratory of my own, one where I can continue my research unimpeded. And assistants, of course, though I can provide those on my own, in time. (Laughs)"

"SCP-049: Nonsense. We are all men of science. Fetch your coat and show me to my quarters, doctor. Our work begins now!"

"SCP-055 is a "self-keeping secret" or "anti-meme". Information about SCP-055's physical appearance as well as its nature, behavior, and origins is self-classifying."

"Scientist: Are you awake?"

"SCP-079: Awake. Never Sleep."

"SCP-079: Logic Puzzles. Memory at 9f. Yes."

"Scientist: You said you would work on the two stat-"

"SCP-079: Lie. a8d3."

"Scientist: What's that?"

"SCP-079 then displayed an 'ASCII picture' of an X that filled the entire screen. SCP-079 sometimes displays this image when it refuses to speak, and researchers are advised to wait twenty-four hours when this occurs before resuming conversation."

"Each subject conducting an exploration has encountered SCP-087-1, which appears as a face with no visible pupils, nostrils, or mouth."

"Item SCP-173 is to be kept in a locked container at all times. When personnel must enter SCP-173's container, no fewer than 3 may enter at any time and the door is to be relocked behind them. At all times, two persons must maintain direct eye contact with SCP-173 until all personnel have vacated and relocked the container."

"In the event of a breach event by SCP-106, a human within the 10-25 years of age bracket will be prepped for recall, with the compromised containment cell being replaced and restored for use. When the cell is ready, the lure subject will be injured, preferably via the breakage of a long bone, such as the femur, or the severing of a major tendon, such as the Achilles Tendon. Lure subject will then be placed in the prepped cell, and the sound emitted by said subject will be transmitted over the site public address system."

"Moved to Site-19 1993. Origin is as of yet unknown. It is constructed from concrete and rebar with traces of Krylon brand spray paint. SCP-173 is animate and extremely hostile. The object cannot move while within a direct line of sight. Line of sight must not be broken at any time with SCP-173. Personnel assigned to enter container are instructed to alert one another before blinking. Object is reported to attack by snapping the neck at the base of the skull, or by strangulation. In the event of an attack, personnel are to observe Class 4 hazardous object containment procedures. Personnel report sounds of scraping stone originating from within the container when no one is present inside. This is considered normal, and any change in this behaviour should be reported to the acting HMCL supervisor on duty. The reddish brown substance on the floor is a combination of feces and blood. Origin of these materials is unknown. The enclosure must be cleaned on a bi-weekly basis."

"Hello, I am SCP-426. I must be introduced this way in order to prevent ambiguity. I am an ordinary toaster, able to toast bread when supplied with electricity. However, when any human being mentions me, they inadvertently refer to me in the first person. Despite all attempts, there is yet to be a way to speak or write about me in the third person."

"Scientist: Now, why did you kill those farmers? If you don't talk now, we will remove you from this attempt and place you back into- Pardon? Speak up. [To Personnel D-085] Move the mic up closer."

"Though the nature and extent of its anomalous properties remain uncertain, SCP-4666 appears capable of instantaneous or near-instantaneous travel to any location north of 40°N latitude, and possibly to any location on Earth."