"So-called psychoanalysis is the occupation of lustful rationalists who trace everything in the world to sexual causes - with the exception of their occupation."

"Psychoanalysis: a rabbit that was swallowed by a boa constrictor who just wanted to see what it was like in there."

"Psychology is as useless as directions for using poison."

"How is the world ruled and led to war? Diplomats lie to journalists and believe these lies when they see them in print."

"War is at first, the hope that one will be better off; next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the satisfaction that the other fellow isn't any better off; and, finally, the surprise at everyone's being worse off."

"When the word "peace" was uttered for the first time, there was panic at the stock exchange. They screamed in pain: "We've been earning! Leave us the war! We've earned the war!""

"A fine world in which man reproaches woman with fulfilling his heart's desire!"

"Christianity has enriched the erotic meal with the appetizer of curiosity and the dessert of remorse."

"The immorality of men triumphs over the amorality of women."

"The woman takes one for all, and the man all for one."

"I am not for women but against men."

"A "seducer" who boasts of initiating women into the mystery of love is like a stranger who arrives at a railroad station and offers to show the sights to a tourist guide."

"There is no more unfortunate creature under the sun than a fetishist who yearns for a woman's shoe and has to settle for the whole woman."

"To divide people into sadists and masochists is almost as foolish as dividing them into eaters and digesters. In all cases one must disregard abnormalities; after all, there are people who are better at digesting than they are at eating and vice versa. As regards masochism and sadism, it is safe to say that a healthy person displays both perversities. The only ugly thing in each case is the word. The one derived from the novelist Leopold von Sacher-Masoch is particularly degrading, and it is hard not to let one's taste for things be spoiled by the designation. Nevertheless, a man with an artistic imagination will manage to let an authentic woman turn him into a masochist and an inauthentic one into a sadist. One knocks the latter's educated unnaturalness out of her until the woman is revealed. If she already is a woman, the only thing left to do is adore her."

"True jealously wants not only fidelity, but the proof of fidelity as an imaginable situation. A jealous man is not content with his beloved not being unfaithful. Precisely that which he is not doing does not leave him in peace. But since there is no proving what is not done and the jealous man insists on proof, he ends up settling on proof of unfaithfulness."

"A man's jealousy is a social institution, a woman's prostitution an instinct."

"Nothing is more unfathomable than a woman's superficiality."

"Many women would like to dream with men without sleeping with them. Someone should point out to them that this is utterly impossible."

"The extraordinary ability of a woman to forget is not the same as the talent of a lady not to be able to remember."

"A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful."

"How unreliable is the woman caught being faithful! Today she is faithful to you, tomorrow to another."

"A woman is, occasionally, quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure."

"Women at least have elegant dresses. But what can men use to cover their emptiness?"

"The superman is a premature ideal, one that presupposes a man."

"When someone has behaved like an animal, he says: "I'm only human!" But when he is treated like an animal, he says: "I'm human, too!""

"A cigar," said the altruist, "a cigar, my good man, I cannot give you. But any time you need a light, just come round, mine is always lit."

"The devil is an optimist if he thinks he can make people meaner."

"The world is a prison in which solitary confinement is preferable."

"Everyone is stopped and waiting, maitre d's, hansom cab drivers and governments. Everyone's waiting for the end. Let's hope the apocalypse is pleasant, Your Highness."

"Solitude would be an ideal state if one were able to pick the people one avoids."

"Squeeze human nature into a straitjacket of criminal justice and crime will appear!"

"Family life is an encroachment on private life."

"Life is an effort that deserves a better cause."

"The development of technology will leave only one problem: the infirmity of human nature."

"You don't even live once."

"Keep your passions in check, but beware of giving your reason free rein."

"To be human is erroneous."

"Lord, forgive them, for they know what they do!"

"There is no doubt that a dog is loyal. But does that mean we should emulate him? After all, he is loyal to people, not to other dogs."

"There are women who are not beautiful but only look that way."