People From Portsmouth

"I think in all the bedlam, it got forgotten. We were on the move all the time traveling around South Africa. People were saying, 'Your call of that goal has created quite a stir in America.' Yeah?"

"They came to me and said, 'Would you want to do the U.S., talk to an American audience?' Yeah, of course. So that’s kind of how I ended up being the commentator that day calling the Landon Donovan goal. It just fell into place."

"I'm just kind of glad people seem to like the way I do it."

"I've been lucky since I've had this job, getting two amazingly dramatic moments like that. You sort of had a license to go to nine or ten on the Richter scale."

"Now don't ask me why I said that; it just came out. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind; quite beyond logic. But, there it is."

"Yeah they did, Bob. It was a classic final, and I think the old cliché? Football was the winner there; just a terrific match. Shattering defeat for the USA; so hard to take. But only the hardest heart, Julie? Would deny Japan that. I suppose you could have an inquest in the USA played so well for much of the game. Just seemed to get a little bit panicky when the finishing line was in reach. But, really that's? That's being a little bit picky, isn't it? Because they did ever so well here. I just think the ball had Japan's name on it. They were destined to win it. Uh, just a feeling? Bob, I think Japan won rather more than just a soccer match here."

"I think one word we can agree Bob is, uh? Epic, classic. Thriller, block-buster. I think all the clichés were made real. I mean? You woke up this morning, saying you felt nervous about this game. Now, I know why."

"The biggest moment, this. Of her soccer life. Ali Krieger, who recovered from that life-threating illness five years ago. Can she win it for the USA, here? And she does! And the USA are into the last four! It's been a near miracle, this! In Dresden!"

"Daiane, whose own goal started all the talking points today after seventy-four seconds. Seems a long, long time ago now. It was into this goal, now Brazil need her to put one in legitimately for them. Yes! Brilliant save from Solo, brilliant save! And that one is legal, and now that means, that if the United States put in the last two penalties, they will go into the semi-finals. That is a moment of magic from Hope Solo!"

"Just incredible! Look at Hope Solo celebrate! There is an American party going on, all around the terraces! Surely the whistle's going to go any second, and it will be a penalty shootout. Abby Wambach in the one hundred and twenty-second minute. Well that does match the drama of the men's World Cup last year, and the Landon Donovan goal which saved the USA against Algeria, doesn't it? Well, well, well! And the goal was scored in the time added on for the largely bogus injury, we think, to Érika. Is there some kind of poetic justice in that? It's not finished yet, though. Still the referee plays on, and here's Marta again! Solo beats it away; it will be a corner. How much more of this can there possibly be? It is over! It will be a penalty shoot-out! An incredible finish, one of the great climaxes to any World Cup match! Brazil are denied at the death! A ten-woman USA save it! Wow, we need to get our breath back. So let's go back to Bob Ley for a moment."

"Marta again, she'll keep the ball in the corner now, much to the annoyance of the crowd. The decision was goal kick. I think this referee knows that she made a very, very big call over that penalty. Morgan, and still it goes on here. Tobin Heath. Boxx. Carli Lloyd! Oh, uh. Couldn't keep it down. Chants of 'USA' ringing around the arena here in Dresden, and it do, does look like it's going to be to no avail. And it will go down as the USA's worst performance ever in the Women's World Cup. Cristiane can buy some time down by the corner, here. Eat away vital seconds. Now, USA have it. And they've just got to get everybody forward now. No sense defending anymore, Lloyd's got to get this pass off. To Rapinoe, and everybody's got to bomb forward now. Rapinoe gets a cross in, it's towards Wambach! Oh, can you believe this? Abby Wambach has saved the USA's life in this World Cup!"

"Cristiane with a chance to put Brazil at level. Hope Solo saved it! A hero again! What is it with Hope Solo and Brazil? Now what's the referee doing here? Is? The penalty? Is it going to have to be retaken? Because they're claiming Solo moved before the ball was kicked. Now this is very controversial, and Solo has got a yellow card for that as well. This is highly contentious! Now look at this again, does she move off the line? No, no, no, no! That is an astonishing decision in my view."

"Now, van Bronckhorst with pace! Oh, it is an absolute firecracker from Giovanni van Bronckhorst! One, nil! Holland!"

"It is over! The USA have made it, in a Hollywood-style finish!"

"Played in, and it comes out into Landon Donovan, who strikes again. What a golden goal for the USA, if you're just joining us? There it is, the moment. Deep, deep into the match! To give the USA surely, a place in the last sixteen. It is breathtakingly exciting!"

"Four minutes of added time. That might lift the United States, that's time enough. Dreadfully negative, really. From the Algerians, they're looking for things on the break. I suspect they'll get a chance or two, on the break. Ghezzal, that's a good ball he's found there to Guedioura who plays it deep. Saïfi, with a header. Howard, gratefully claims it. Distribution, brilliant. Landon Donovan. Oh, are things on here for the USA? Can they do it here? Cross, and Dempsey is denied again, and Donovan has scored! Oh, can you believe this? Go, go, USA! Certainly through! Oh, it's incredible! You could not write a script like this!"

"I know his relationship with the coach hasn't been the warmest. I can see where Jürgen's coming from. He feels Donovan took a timeout, a sabbatical, and most pros wouldn't do that."

"Look at the space, Ian. Look at the space!"

"It is with great pleasure, and I know I say that every week and don't mean it. But, this week I really, really, really mean it. It is with great pleasure, that we welcome back to the pod, the man who many of us know as the voice of football, I think of as. If a soccer ball could actually talk? It would sound just like this man. Welcome back to Men in Blazers, Sir Ian Darke."

"This is over. No way back for Japan, who in my view are lucky to make this final."

"Will the goal never come?"

"Here's Götze! It's Mario Götze! It's Super Mario! He might just have won the World Cup, for Germany!"

"As quiet as a library."

"Brazil, in their famous history have allowed seven goals only one other time. That was in 1934, when they lost eight-four to Yugoslavia. Well, you and I are pinching ourselves. I think everybody here is. Seven, nil? Yeah, me too. You've got to say, as bad have Brazil have been? Germany have just been absolutely brilliant. Schürrle. Olés now, and I think the Brazil fans are starting to join with it. They're starting to applaud the Germans, what else can they do? Really? Well it's an embarrassment for Luiz Felipe Scolari, as the coach. Isn't he, is? Schürrle, to cut that one back. And you wonder what the? The reaction of the fans will be? We? We've heard about protests and demonstrations, people saying this World Cup wasn't worth the money that was spent on it because more should be invested in the infrastructure of the country. Will those protests come back again? Well, there's going to be a big clear-out isn't there? For certain, after this World Cup. Okay, they've got to the semi-final. That's no mean achievement; plenty didn't of course. Here's Lahm, he'll want to get on the act as well. Schürrle wants a hat-trick. Well, you're watching a game here that's going to go down as one of the most astonishing in the entire history of the World Cup. Bernard, Paulinho. Marcelo, they're trying to give the crowd something. Ramires, no. He's not in the mood for getting beaten."

"Could be more, here's Schürrle! Once again, that's seven! An utter humiliation for Brazil, just got worse! Germany in seventh heaven! What a hit that is; nothing Julio Cesar could've done really. That was travelling at the speed of sound, a devastated Julio Cesar. A devastated Brazil; a devastated nation. Most goals ever scored in a World Cup semi-final by one team. The records are tumbling by the second, it seems here. Ramires. I think these players frankly would like to get off this pitch and go into a tunnel, that led to Tristan da Cunha or somewhere. Bernard's cross, Marcelo. There's not enough room on the caption. They've got roll it through, to get all the goal scorers on. Two goals for André Schürrle since coming on as a substitute."

"I think it's a sort of morbid fascination, for the Brazil fans now. They've paid a lot for their tickets, they're going to see it, whatever the story. I don't think they'll be watching a replay when they get home, somehow. How good are this German team?"

"Lahm, Khedira. Lahm, again. Trying to make sure, and they do make sure! Six, nil! You wonder where all this is going to end for Germany? Schürrle, getting in on the act. Well, they're really booing now. André Schürrle. Fred was booed off in the middle of all that. And Schürrle gets his second goal of the tournament, he got one against Algeria as well. Six, nil. Germany, really rubbing Brazil's noses in it."

"Look at this, again! Khedira plays it wide, Özil! Khedira again! Five, nil! This is utterly, beyond belief! Where is this goal scoring going to end? Well, if this was boxing? The referee would be stopping it, to save Brazil from further punishment. Five goals in the first twenty-nine minutes from a rampant Germany; Brazil have simply unraveled. Fred, here's Luiz Gustavo. Marcelo. Just need something, anything. To lift their confidence, but."

"Two in two minutes for him, and Brazil's World Cup is surely over. This is the first time ever, that Brazil have trailed by four goals in a World Cup match. Four-nil down, twenty-six minutes on the clock. Germany, just too good? This is Brazil, not so much without Neymar. But, without Thiago Silva. Organizing their defense, and this could get a lot worse. Yeah? Unless this team tightens up somehow. Terrible mistake by Fernandinho on that last goal."

"Oh, and some nasty stuff in there! It looked to be a bite, almost. Holyfield is very unhappy, look at this! It looked as if Tyson bared his teeth at one stage in the exchange. He bit his ear! Well, feelings are running very, very hot indeed in there. Holyfield was outraged by that. Now what is the referee going to do about that? One point deduction for Tyson! One point deducted from Mike Tyson, for biting Holyfield's ear. Now, let's take a look again. Well, this is getting like a street fight."

"The experienced Stewart with the corner here for the United States. Here's Brian McBride, it's not away on O'Brien! Gives the United States the lead inside four minutes!"

"Portugal all the over the place here, and they've made another mistake. Here's Donovan, with a cross. Deflected, and in! Two, nil! Can you believe this? Landon Donovan's cross, deflected off Costa. Two, nothing!"

"Here's Sanneh. The Americans, here. What a start for them, and this is number three! Brian McBride!"

"Many branches of knowledge exist in our world that are unknown to theory and untaught in schools."

"All that the book contains is the elucidation of but one precept: namely, to interpret language by nature. We [generally and incorrectly] reverse the rule and interpret nature by language."

"As... the following sheets are the painful elaboration of many years, when my language or positions shall, in a casual perusal, seem absurd, (and such cases may be frequent,) I request the reader to seek some more creditable interpretation. The best which he can conceive should be assumed to be my intention: as on an escutcheon, when a figure resembles both an eagle and a buzzard, heraldry decides that the bird which is most creditable to the bearer, shall be deemed to be the one intended by the blazon."

"Man exists in a world of his own creation. He cannot step, but on ground transformed by culture; nor look, but on objects produced by art. The animals which constitute his food are unknown to nature, while trees, fruits, and herbs, are the trophies of his labour. In himself nearly every natural impulse is suppressed as vicious, and every mortification solicited as a virtue. His language, actions, sentiments, and desires are nearly all factitious. Stupendous in achievement, he is boundless in attempt. Having subdued the earth's surface, he would explore its centre; having vanquished diseases, he would subdue death. Unsatisfied with recording the past, he would anticipate the future. Uncontented with subjugating the ocean, he would traverse the air. Success but sharpens his avidity, and facility but augments his impatience."

"To fix the fluctuating mass of theories, no man has suggested any other expedient than the construction of some new theory, to whose authority... all persons shall submit. The remedy is constantly augmenting the disease."

"As theories are the means by which we attempt to discourse of external existences that our senses cannot discover; and as the desire for such discourse originates a large portion of our theories; I will teach you the capacity of language for such an employment, and thereby enable you to judge more understandingly than you can at present, the utility of most theories, and the signification of all."

"His majesty recollected the celebrated quack doctor, who when asked why his patrons were more numerous than those of regular practitioners, replied, that he was patronised by the fools, who are numerous in every community, while regular physicians are patronised by the wise, who are few. His majesty could not see why the principle was not applicable to politics. He resolved to try it. He would so govern as to be patronised by the numerous class, and leave the desires of the few to be regarded by some future emperor, who should choose to make so unpromising an experiment."

"Man soon finds what he wants to find. If he cannot find it otherwise, he creates it for his special enjoyment: for instance, if a man wants to see a ghost, he need only promulge his wish some night around a decaying fire, with a few alarmed and shocked listeners. Then let him ascend in the dark to a remote chamber, carefully looking over his shoulder every few moments; and if he will not see a ghost, he will feel as if he saw one, and that will be tantamount thereto."

"In her youth she had indulged a passion towards a young monarch of a neighbouring island, Glanden, whose subjects, though they enjoyed the benefits of fairly-dispensed justice, suffered such disparities of condition, that some of them were born with saddles on their backs, and others booted and spurred to mount and ride during their lives. Shocking! yet countless eyes certified its truth: nay, even the Glandens admit the charge, but deem their island the most delightful in the world, and the most favourable for human improvement and comfort."

"War and fights, like courtship and kisses, are seldom interesting except to the actors and their connexions; hence I will not burden my readers with the military operations of these remote regions."

"The old lady Felderal had long railed at the emperor for not declaring war. She pretended that he feared to call on his subjects for the requisite means, lest their avarice, stronger than their patriotism, should depose him. When, however, war was declared, and the emperor's forces were victorious, she became enamoured of peace, and maintained that a moral and religious people ought not to rejoice at victories purchased by the sacrifice of human life. She invented a song, whose burden was "the golden days of commercial prosperity," and she organized a peace society, whose tenets compelled the members not to fight even an invading army. Finally, as these expedients failed to destroy the emperor, she collected the most desperate of her adherents, to concert means for tying his hands behind his back, "peaceably if they could, forcibly if they must," and delivering him to the king of Glanden."

"The confectionary was useful enough to make its destruction eminently foolish; and fools were numerous enough to make its destruction eminently popular. Thus reasoned the emperor."

"The doctrine of false position has been but little studied in the United States. In France it is understood perfectly. There everything is solved by false position, just as chymists solve everything by attraction and repulsion, mathematicians by circles and tangents, old people by loss and gain, young people by love and courtship."

"We need not wade into the current of Niagara Falls unless we please; but, after we have waded in we must thereafter be governed by the course and force of the stream."

"A young lady, being on a visit at a noble friend's mansion, was betrayed by complaisance into an admission that she was very fond of potted sprats, though she abhorred the sight, taste, and smell of them. This little falsehood brought her into a false position as respects her noble friend, who, to oblige her young guest, provided for her nothing but potted sprats. ...So the aforesaid young lady found herself suddenly seated beside a plate of sprats, with all their disgusting odours rising to her face, and their horrid forms spread out before her eyes. A moment ago, she might, with entire propriety, have declared her disgust of them; but she had taken her false position, and that was now to govern. ...But here the authority ended of all external government. The chyle would not digest the intruder, nor the pylorus permit its egress The whole inner woman suffered a state of rebellion; when a new actor appeared upon the stage... in the shape of fever, first mild and gentle, then importunate and bold, then raging, and then outrageous. The fever introduced, in turn, a new agent in the shape of a physician, grave and knowing; who introduced two others more knowing still, who introduced various cathartics, diaphoretics, lancets, leeches, blisters, and glysters, which together soon introduced debility, epilepsy, and catalepsy; which, to the astonishment of no one but the doctors, introduced death, who ended the false position."

"My readers understand now something of the nature of a false position. I hope they will never know one experimentally. Should they unfortunately become entangled with one, they had better not flounder along in it till they are carried they know not whither, but adopt the practice of French and English statesmen, who, immediately on the happening of such a dilemma, submit to what they call a ministerial crisis, and quietly resign their official posts. An occasion of this kind has just transpired in France. ...They wisely chose the latter evil, and retired covered with glory for the great things they would have accomplished had the king only permitted them to carry forward their grand designs: thus the ministers preserve their credit the nation its peace."

"The emperor relied on his popularity, the obedient habits of his subjects, and chiefly on the prejudices of the people against anything that could be subjected, right or wrong, to the charge of unconstitutionality."