"Monkeys and mortals are attracted to sparkly things. What makes us different from the apes is that we sometimes crack the shiny shell and see there’s nothing inside."

"Children, the gods call us when they choose, but not even the priests are eager to answer."

"You may hear the priests claim that revenge belongs to the gods and should never be the property of man. Leave it to the gods to hog the best bits of life for themselves. When you have your enemies skewered, I think it would be wasteful not to stay and watch them writhe. I would even call it impolite. I value courtesy."

"I think the pampered highborn like the fantasy of equality."

"Don’t mistake gratitude for love."

"Power can command wealth but wealth can’t always command power."

"Little ones, if any mortal under the age of ninety ever tells you, “I always learned my lessons the first time, before it was too late,” mark that person well. He lies."

"Talent is no doxy to follow only where gold jingles. Even in the poorest hovels artists can be born as often as cutpurses."

"Accidents happen; clothing does not."

"Scratch a minstrel, find a pimp!"

"Time had passed. It will, given half the chance."

"Some people just don't stop to think; they're too busy swallowing nightmares whole."

"Pigs possess a certain native intelligence and common sense by and large missing from our greater poets. When despair lays its clammy paws across their fevered porcine brows, they do not slump about composing sonnets; they take action."

"“A mistake, however small,” said the dead wizard, “can be more deadly than a sword.”"

"Here is what I like to do: Pretend I know what grownups are talking about."

"There are always miracles where there are children, and fascination for any tale that opens their eyes to marvels, whether or not they are sensible marvels. Even a pig knows that."

"I knew the Cardinal Rule of Experiments from Master Urion’s house: The wise mage never tampers with the order of things unless his circumstances are such that the worst possible result of the experiment will be no more disastrous than not performing the experiment at all."

"“We are all doomed, condemned to have the flesh seared from our bones, our blood gouting from our headless necks as the dragon rends limb from limb!” “Wait a minute,” the first guard said. “How can the dragon rend us limb from limb, blood gouting and all, if it’s already seared the flesh from our bones?” Another Gorgorian guard gave him a smart thwack in the head and said, “It’s a holy vision, you clod. Things don’t need to make sense when they’re holy visions.”"

"“What a hero!” “What an idiot!” “What’s the difference?”"

"Raleel let his head tilt back as he filled his nostrils with the satisfying reek of small hearts and mouldering souls. Selfish greed for their own salvation pulsed from those fifteen in waves he could almost touch, and damnation take anyone who dared to stand between them and the Heaven for which only they were good enough."

"The winter of ignorance could come, the cold stoked by a thousand bonfires. There would always be loveless souls ready to kindle such blazes with their neighbors’ books, or dreams, or children."

"That didn’t really fit the facts or make very much sense, but as a theory it had a certain perverse appeal."

"Have lunch. It wasn’t anywhere near noon, but for food like this, they weren’t about to quibble. Suddenly the idea of going forth and smiting the heathen didn’t seem that attractive. Life is too short and sweet to waste it bludgeoning your brother into accepting your way of seeing Heaven."

"His salvation flunkies. Mouthing off a hundred and one misapplied Biblical justifications a minute for why they can split heads, kick butt, and burn anything or anyone who tells them No. They are still going to Heaven. They’ll be the only ones there, but what the hey!"

"Growing up’s not something that just happens south of your belt buckle. It’s opening your eyes and taking on the nightmares yourself, without calling for Mommy or Daddy or even God. It’s facing down evil, even when you know it might be the last thing you ever do."

"“The trouble with having royal advisors,” the king muttered half to himself, “is that they’re always trying to give a man advice!”"

"The women treated you like a kid until you showed them you could put down a man’s stack of cash. Enough bills on the table and you could wear a Sesame Street bib and they wouldn’t care."

"Bravery cannot be taught, but duty can."

"Who obeyed the commands of ghosts except madmen?"

"Beautiful. She had been born with an appreciation for beauty. Mortals who imagined that they shared that same appreciation knew nothing. In them, the taste had to be learned, cultivated, forced into being. If it had been a natural part of their souls, they never would have destroyed so much loveliness with their repetitive stupidities."

"Gods do not explain their cruelties."

"Like all grandmothers, she wouldn’t mind if the world ended so long as everyone cleaned his plate first."

"Three there are and three there be, Each will gain the rest for thee: Flesh to flesh in burning hold; Song of silver, chink of gold; Power to make others bend. None the Answer in the end."

"Money is easier to manipulate than men, but then it manipulates them for you."

"Sex is like the pursuit of wild mushrooms: Both are fascinating hobbies, both can prove most addictive, and both for the most part yield tasty results. And yet, for the novice, there exists always the chance of making that one fatal mistake. Ah, but if one lives, one learns!"

"In for a lamb, in for a ram, as the sheep-stealers say just before we hang them."

"There is a vast difference between innocence and stupidity."

"To shrug was in effect his philosophy of life. Either you had the answer to a problem or you didn’t. If you did, bueno, you did. If you didn’t, you shrugged and waited to see if someone would come up with the answer for you."

"Fools are always at the bottom of the food chain."

"“What is it about L.A.?” “The Great Cosmic Belly Button that attracteth the spiritual lint of the universe,” Faith replied."

"It is more comfortable for us to pretend that we are a kindly race, to let bygones be bygone, to let the dust of history mingle with the ashes of the dead and to sweep both under the same rug."