"From a purely technical perspective, it is reasonable to expect that science will one day turn most cancers into either chronic diseases or curable ones. But cancer is not fought only in the lab. It is also fought in doctors’ surgeries, in schools, in public-health systems and in government departments. [...] And prevention remains the best cure of all."

"There are all sorts of reasons why geoengineering may prove impossible, either politically or scientifically. It may be too dangerous to countenance, and the circumstances which might make it an appealing complement to cutting emissions may never arise. But to treat research into the subject as taboo on the basis that ignorance is a viable defence against folly would be a dangerous mistake."

"[...] advocates of [fossil fuel] divestment [...] want to create the sense that a business or a country is a pariah. If you believe that global warming is a mortal threat to all humanity, and that the world’s attempts to ward it off are inadequate, then it makes sense to do more or less everything you can to bring about change. Campaigners use divestment not as a tool of corporate finance, but as a facet of free speech — part of a broader push, involving boycotts, protests, lobbying and public advocacy, to sway opinion and influence regulation. Good luck to them: they have every right to make their case."

"On the specific issue of climate change, Mercer, an actuarial consultancy, recently issued a report that argues, “Investors cannot assume that economic growth will continue to be heavily reliant on an energy sector powered predominantly by fossil fuels.” If climate change begins to cause economic and social havoc, governments will have to act, either by restricting energy use or by taxing carbon emissions. In such circumstances, Mercer contends, it will not be possible for energy companies to exploit all their known reserves: some will become “stranded assets”. The average annual returns from coal could fall by anywhere between 18% and 74% over the next 35 years, the report concludes. If such estimates are right, then eliminating exposure to the sector would be perfectly compatible with fiduciary duty."

"Bringing down emissions of greenhouse gases asks a good deal of people, not least that they accept the science of climate change. It requires them to make sacrifices today so that future generations will suffer less, and to weigh the needs of people who are living far away."

"Economists like to argue, about climate change as much as anything else. [...] But on the biggest issue of all they nod in agreement, whatever their political persuasion. The best way to tackle climate change, they insist, is through a global carbon tax."

"Reverse engineering cannot turn a binary product back into the original source code for the same reason that you can't turn a McDonald's hamburger back into a cow."

"Computers are mostly used against people instead of for people; used to control people instead of to free them; Time to change all that — we need a… Peoples Computer Company."

"To sum up the matter simply, in the language of educationists, one might say the responsibility of the schools of education for the present chaotic disorganization in the curricula of primary and secondary educational institutions is due to their hypertrophical complication of pedagogic education through the duplication of instructional materials under various divergent indefinite polysyllabic terminologies."

"It's the Bible, you know. If you want to know what's being said on the streets, Rolling Stone tells you the truth. I've always believed everything, or almost everything, I read in there."

"We take all kind of pills that give us all kind of thrills, But the thrill we've never known Is the thrill that'll get ya when you get your picture On the cover of the Rolling Stone.Rollin' Stone, Wanna see my picture on the cover. Wanna buy five copies for my mother [Yeah!] Wanna see my smilin' face, on the cover, The cover of the Rollin Stone."

"To be on it is to be recognized, is to make it, especially in a world where every week, something that used to mean "making it" kinda goes extinct."

"It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle, nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the rest rode by him, praying for their fate to be quick, painless, and if possible, someone else's."

"And Goodgulf held in his right hand a trusty weapon, called by the Elves a Browning nine millimeter."

"(Cartoon True Humility, curate Jones having breakfast at his Bishop's house.) Bishop: I'm afraid you've got a bad egg, Mr Jones. Jones (apparently trying not to give offence): Oh, no, my Lord, I assure you that parts of it are excellent!"

"(Cartoon featuring the vicar's wife talking to a rustic old man laid up by an injured foot.) Vicar's wife: Now that you can't get about and are not able to read, how do you manage to occupy the time? Rustic man: Well, mum, sometimes I sits and thinks and then again I just sits."

"I used your soap two years ago; since then I have used no other."

"Politicians are always trying to convince you that they can solve the unemployment problem if you'll just give them a job. (#458 – 10/2005)"

"If you repeat the same grade once, you're a dummy — if you do it 20 times, you're a teacher. (#459 – 11/2005)"

"Talk is cheap — but say the wrong thing to your parents and it'll cost you. (#460 – 12/2005)"

"Most siblings won't share anything — except embarrassing stories about you. (#461 – 01/2006)"

"It's funny how no one is ever so busy that they can't find the time to complain about how busy they are. (#462 – 02/2006)"

"Many long-time smokers end up having a coffin fit. (#463 – 03/2006)"

"Too many people consider themselves open-minded when they're really just empty-headed. (#464 – 04/2006)"

"How come the same parents who assure you that "it's what's inside that counts" whine endlessly about the way you dress? (#465 – 05/2006)"

"It's funny how whenever your parents tell you to "think about what you did wrong", your answer is always the same — you got caught. (#466 – 06/2006)"

"Every day is a gift — but good luck exchanging it if you don't like it. (#467 – 07/2006)"

"Vegetarians who go back to meat have to start by eating crow. (#468 – 08/2006)"

"The problem with parents putting in their two cents is that they expect change. (#470 – 10/2006)"

"How is it that a well-rounded diet consists of three square meals? (#471 – 11/2006)"

"To be a member of the upper crust you need a lot of dough. (#472 – 12/2006)"

"Why is it that when it comes to doing something about global warming, most politicians get cold feet? (#473 – 01/2007)"

"Why doesn't time ever fly when you're stuck in an airplane? (#474 – 02/2007)"

"An arrested drunk is someone who got nailed for getting hammered. (#475 – 03/2007)"

"If we don't do something to stop global warming, pretty soon we'll all be in hot water. (#476 – 04/2007)"

"In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. Also, there's lots of competition for handicapped parking. (#477 – 05/2007)"

"Nowadays, at many airlines, the only thing "up in the air" is whether the plane will ever take off. (#478 – 06/2007)"

"Most people's definition of a dumb person is someone who doesn't recognize their brilliance. (#479 – 07/2007)"

"The stupid person says, "It's impossible". The smart person says, "It's possible, if we can get enough stupid people to do it." (#480 – 08/2007)"

"Haste makes waste, but at least it does so quickly. (#481 – 09/2007)"

"It's said a picture is worth a thousand words, but try telling that to a teacher who assigned you a thousand-word essay. (#482 – 10/2007)"

"Just because you wear the pants in your family doesn't mean it'll be your hands in the pockets. (#483 – 11/2007)"

"Parents say that anything worth doing is worth doing right. Luckily, whatever they ask you to do is never worth doing. (#484 – 12/2007)"

"A watch without hands tells no time, but neither does a digital watch with no batteries. (#485 – 01/2008)"

"Whoever said nothing is gained by cheating never cheated on a diet. (#486 – 02/2008)"

"Getting homework after a full day of school is like being forced to take home a doggy bag from a lousy restaurant. (#487 – 03/2008)"

"When it comes to the lack of cleanliness at public urinals, it's amazing what some guys will stand for. (#489 – 05/2008)"

"Presidents are like diapers — just because you've changed the old one doesn't mean the new one's not going to end up being full of crap, too. (#490 – 06/2008)"

"The problem with talking in circles is that it's impossible to find a point. (#491 – 07/2008)"