"From now on, my little group of scrotum sacks, you will walk like me, talk like me, eat like me, and until you win those games, you will be BALD like me."

"Know this about me, Private Ass-Eyes! War has made me very paranoid! And when a man gets to eyeballing me, it makes my Agent Orange act up; and I get the urge to kill. Do not aggravate my condition!"

"Move it, turds! You'll get no sympathy from me! You want sympathy, you look in the dictionary between spit and syphilis! That's where you'll find my sympathy!"

"ONE...don't you feel dumb. TWO...look at you! THREE...don't you ever make jokes about me behind my back or else I'll stomp you in the ground!"

"You're still a shit sandwich... you're just not a soggy one. I will no longer refer to you as turds. From this day forward, you will be called maggots!"

"[To Emily about being married] Negative. I figure if the marines wanted me to have a wife, they'd of issued me one."

"[To the squad, while watching them all run wearing dresses] I tell you, ladies; you're the prettiest unit ever under my command! Gonna have to change my name to Pimp-Daddy Payne! A-hee hee hee!"

"[While confronting a blind kid with his dog] You know there ain't no pets allowed on this here premises, Mr. Ace Ventura."

"Hey Corporal. [Payne's adopted son, Tiger steps out in front and faces him] Go tell Mom to get my field knife."

"[To a hulking biker dude, whom the squad hired to muss him up] I heard tell your mother's so fat, she uses planets for billiard balls."

"[Introducing the squad to their new barracks] A squad that lives together, wins together! "Unity", turds; that is the key word in "unit", without the "Y"!"

"Know this, pukes: We are going to win the Virginia Military Games this year! You will note my emphasis on win! Whiskey! India! November! GET USED TO HEARING THAT WORD!"

"Welcome to the House of Payne."

"He's looking for a few good men...or at least a few guys old enough to shave."

"Damon Wayans - Major Benson Winifred Payne"

"Karyn Parsons - Emily Walburn"

"Steven Martini - Cadet Alex J. Stone"

"Michael Ironside - Lt. Col. Stone"

"Orlando Brown - Cadet Kevin "Tiger" Dunn"

"Albert Hall - General Decker"

"Andrew Harrison Leeds - Cadet Dotson"

"Damien Wayans - Cadet Dwight "D." Williams"

"Stephen Coleman - Cadet Leland"

"Mark Madison - Cadet Fox"

"Peyton Chesson-Fohl - Cadet Sgt. Johnson"

"Scott Bigelow - Biker"

"Damn this island! The Americans can have it."

"Kuribayashi belongs behind a desk, not fighting a war."

"[Before the soldiers commit suicide by holding hand grenades against their chests] Men, we are honorable soldiers of the Emperor. Don't ever forget that. The only way left for us is to die with honor. This is our fate, to find our place at Yasukuni Shrine. I'll see you there. Banzai! Banzai! Banzai! [The men repeat 'banzai' each time he says it] Soldiers, farewell! [Shoots himself]"

"[To Saigo when he fails to hit the target during target practice] My six year old son can shoot better! [Saigo shoots again and misses] Do you call yourself an Imperial soldier?"

"Here is the uniform of the American medic. He should be your target. For, Americans will risk many lives to save this one."

"The cave digging may be futile. The stand on Iwo may be futile. The whole war may be futile. But would you give up then? If our children can live safely for one more day, it'll be worth one more day that we defend this island!"

"Everything happens in threes."

"[addressing his men before the battle] Men, the time has come to show your true colors. As a member of the Honorable Imperial Army, I trust that you will fight with honor. This island is of utmost importance to Japan. Should the island fall, the enemy will use it as their base to attack our homeland. For the mainland...For our homeland...Until the very last man..Our duty is to stop the enemy right here. Not one of you is allowed to die until you have killed ten enemy soldiers. Do not expect to return home alive. I will always be in front of you. [removing his hat and bowing] Long live the Emperor."

"A good officer uses his head, not his whip."

"[to his men, right before a suicide charge] A day will come when they will weep and pray for your souls. [unsheathes his katana] I will always be in front of you."

"From the director of Flags of our Fathers comes the completion of the Iwo Jima saga"

"The battle of Iwo Jima seen through the eyes of the Japanese soldiers."

"From Clint Eastwood, director of Flags of Our Fathers, the battle of Iwo Jima seen through the eyes of the Japanese soldiers."

"From the director of "Flags of our Fathers" comes the story of the battle for Iwo Jima told through the eyes of the Japanese soldiers."

"Do what is right because it is right."

"There is no use for a dead soldier."

"[On Kuribayashi] He studied the Americans, so he knows how to beat them."

"[In response to a soldier saying death is honorable] Kashiwara died of honorable dysentery."

"[About Nishi's romancing skills] There are rumors about his womanizing...But there are no women left to woo."

"[Letter to his wife] We soldiers dig. We dig all day. This is the hole that we will fight and die in. Am I digging my own grave?"

"[Convincing Shimizu not to kill himself] We can die here, or we can continue fighting. Which would better serve the emperor?"

"[When the Allied forces fire on him] Why are you always messing with me. It's got to be a joke! [An Allied shell lands right next to him, knocking him over. He sees the shell is a dud] Thank you, God! I take back what I said!"

"This is ridiculous, why waste time digging all these tunnels? They are all going to die anyway!"

"[Referring to Kuribayashi] This one is trouble."