First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Howard Hesseman - Larry Hertzel"
"June Squibb - Helen Schmidt"
"Dermot Mulroney - Randall Hertzel"
"Hope Davis - Jeannie Schmidt"
"Kathy Bates - Roberta Hertzel"
"Jack Nicholson - Warren R. Schmidt"
"Schmidt Happens"
"People used to think it was strange 'cause I breast-fed him 'til he was almost five, but I say - hunh, just look at the results!"
"One of the children I care for is little Ndugu Umu, the boy you sponsor. Ndugu is a very intellegent boy, and very loving. He is an orphan. Recently he needed medical attention for an infection of the eye, but he's better now. He loves to eat melon, and he loves to paint. Ndugu and I want you to know that he receives all of your letters. He hopes that you are happy in your life, and healthy. He thinks of you every day and he wants very much your happiness."
"Helen, what did you really think of me, deep in your heart? Was I really the man you wanted to be with? Was I? Or were you disappointed and too nice to show it? I forgive you for Ray. I forgive you. That was a long time ago, and I know I wasn't always the king of kings. I let you down. I'm sorry, Helen. Can you forgive me? Can you forgive me?"
"Well Ndugu, I'll close now. You probably can't wait to run and cash this check and get yourself something to eat."
"I know we're all pretty small in the big scheme of things, and I suppose the most you can hope for is to make some kind of difference, but what kind of difference have I made? What in the world is better because of me?"
"Relatively soon, I will die. Maybe in 20 years, maybe tomorrow, it doesn't matter. Once I am dead and everyone who knew me dies too, it will be as though I never existed. What difference has my life made to anyone. None that I can think of. None at all."
"finding Ned Divine's body, dead, holding the winning lottery ticket. Dear God. You'll be cursing in heaven tonight, Ned Devine."
"I'm not a great man for telling things the way they are. I mean, I've been known to add a little color to stories and riddles for the benefit of those who will listen. Yet here tonight I can swear that all I've told you is true. The money will be claimed and divided equally between the fifty two of us. Now it was wrong, to think I could claim the money meself. That's not what Ned wants. He wants us to share the winnings. A nest egg for us all. So now if the lotto man comes to the village, you say that Ned Devine is alive and well, and you point your finger to Michael O'Sullivan."
"(talking about the death of Ned Devine, a retired fisherman who died from the shock of winning the lottery) He survived all those storms to be washed away by a few plastic lottery balls."
"If I'd have known how much was won, I'd never have started in the first place. Oh Lord, this is getting awful serious."
"And don't take it personally, Finn, but I bought you some expensive, fruity soaps. Take them home, try them out."
"As we look back on the life of... (Lottery man enters funeral parlor)... Michael O'Sullivan was my great friend, but I don't ever remember telling him that. The words that are spoken at a funeral are spoken too late for the man who is dead. What a wonderful thing it would be to visit your own funeral. To sit at the front and hear what was said. Maybe to say a few things yourself. Michael and I grew old together. But at times, when we laughed, we grew younger. If he was here now, if he could hear what I say, I'd congratulate him on being a great man, and thank him for being a friend."
"Philip Seymour Hoffman - Officer Raymer"
"Josef Sommer - Clive Peoples Jr."
"Gene Saks - Wirf Wirfley"
"Pruitt Taylor Vince - Rub Squeers"
"Dylan Walsh - Peter Sullivan"
"Melanie Griffith - Toby Roebuck"
"Bruce Willis - Carl Roebuck"
"Jessica Tandy - Beryl Peoples"
"Paul Newman - Donald 'Sully' Sullivan"
"Wirf: Damn, Sully, when your luck turns... it turns."
"Judge Flatt: Ollie, you know my feelings about arming morons: you arm one, you've got to arm them all, otherwise it wouldn't be good sport."
"Miss Beryl: Mr. Sullivan, you're wearing a necktie. Are you in trouble with the law again?"
"Boy, a guy goes to jail for a couple of days and the whole town goes to hell!"
"Worn to perfection"
"Toby: [to Sully] Go ahead, steal our snowblower. You're the slowest goddamn thief that I ever saw."
"In a town where nothing ever happens... everything is about to happen to Sully."
"Philip Bosco - Judge Flatt"