Comedy Tv Shows

"When people say "i.e." when they mean "e.g.""

"Francis Chichester"

"Hibernating animals"

"The phrase "Mid-morning""

"The direction North-North-West"

"Pointless lists without punchlines. "Well that told me, Mr. Morrissey.""

"Koi carp and most of all,"

"Millipedes"

"Magnifying mirrors"

"YMCA (fade into credits)"

"The phrase "Mr. Morrissey, you require three snookers!""

"Chip forks"

"Glade Plug-ins"

"Bulldog terriers"

"Igneous rock"

"Loft lagging"

"Branston Pickle"

"Fred Wedlock"

"Jokes about Wagon Wheels"

"B.A. Baracus"

"Sunbathers"

"Journalists"

"Meat-eaters"

"Tony Wilson"

"Bob Geldof"

"Vic Reeves"

"George Michael"

"Elton John"

"Richard Fairbrass & Phil Alexander (editor-in-chief of Kerrang!)"

"Kiki Dee & Mike Wilmot"

"Neil Hannon & Keith Chegwin"

"Emmy-Kate Montrose (Kenickie) & Tom Robinson"

"Disposable razors"

"The smell of parmesan"

"The Honey Monster"

"Orange peels"

"Guatemalans"

"Skin on rice pudding"

"Sarah's next door neighbour"

"Philippa Forrester"

"Pasta as a starter"

"Friday afternoons"

"In the worlds before Monkey, primal chaos reigned. Heaven sought order, but the phoenix can fly only when its feathers are grown. The four worlds formed again and yet again, as endless eons wheeled and passed. Time and the pure essences of Heaven, the moisture of the Earth, the powers of the sun and the moon all worked upon a certain rock, old as creation. And it became magically fertile. That first egg was named "Thought". Tathagata Buddha, the Father Buddha, said, "With our thoughts, we make the world." Elemental forces caused the egg to hatch. From it then came a stone monkey. The nature of Monkey was irrepressible!"

"What's it all for? What's the point of it all? And if it hasn't got a point, what's the point of that?"

"[after finding out that Buddha was female] I always thought Buddha was a fella!"

"The monstrous is only a question of opinion. To some of us, opinions are so precious that we will die for them, again and again."

"It's better to travel alone than with a fool. But what may two fools do?"

"Even a starving camel is still bigger than a horse."

"When what is indestructible meets what is irresistible, the female all too often wins."

"The wicked go to hells, the good go to heavens and the pure neither live nor even die... but those hit on the head tend to fall unconscious."