"(To past self) ' With my help, we'll get the Arc Net, kill Agent K, the invasion will be successful and we'll get to keep both of our ar...AR...ARRR...STOP STARING AT IT!'"

"(To K): 'Yes, my arm. (Speaking to his pet) We've thought about that moment...(looking up) everyday...for the last 40 years.'"

"Let's rewrite history, shall we, K?"

"[hanging on to Lily, preventing her from being sucked out into space] Sorry, darling. We did love the cake. [releases her]"

"[after his weasel animal settles into the cavity in his hand] You complete me."

"Let's agree to disagree!"

"[repeated line, whenever someone calls him "Boris the Animal"] It's just Boris!"

"(Before shooting 1969 Boris) Not this time."

"[While pointing his gun in J's temple] We'll take it from here."

"(To Boris): 'You haven't changed very much. I see the arm I shot off is...still shot off.'"

"(To O on the phone): '...Lunar Max Prison- Boris the Animal.'"

"(To J): 'Boris the Animal...I put him away a long time ago, it's the worst mistake I ever made.'"

"[After seeing 1969 K shoot 1969 Boris] Where there's death, there will always be death."

"[To Boris] 'You might wanna get a pedicure if you get a second.'"

"[Upon seeing K’s car destroyed by Boris’ motorcycle after Boris captured Griffin] Damn it!"

"[from trailer, talking to Marco, a graffiti alien, and a graffiti artist] Crazy, right? Two grown men, talking to the wall, wall talking back, it's a mess. But hey. Don't even worry about it."

"First of all, my name is J. Okay? It's not Son, it's not Slick, and it damn sure ain't no Cochise."

"No, I call ladies "O." To me O is feminine, K is masculine. Y'know, I see a couple, I'm like... OK."

"May I have your attention please... [Neuralyzes a crowd] Okay. You know how your kid won the goldfish in that little baggy from the school fair, but you didn't want that nasty thing in your house so you told your kid it ran away but what you really did was flush it down the toilet? Well, this what happens. [Points to an alien fish being towed away] Okay, see what I'm talking about? Don't lie to your kids!"

"[looking at an ugly alien fish] Ooh, man, you look like you come from the planet... Damn."

"[talking to K at Wu’s restaurant] Man, I am getting too old for this. I can only imagine how you feel."

"Okay! You know how you're on a airplane and the flight attendant asks you to turn your cell-phone off. And you're like, I ain't turning my cell-phone off, that don't have nothing to do with no damn airplane. Well, [Showing the crowd a crashed spaceship] this is what we get, that's what happens. It gets up there, bounces around on the satellites, then blam! Just turn your damn cell-phone off. Now you're gonna drive off a cliff tonight because your GPS don't work."

"Life's a pic-a-nic."

"Josh Robert Thompson — Narrator"

"Andrew Daly — Mayor Brown"

"Nate Corddry — The Chief of Staff"

"T.J. Miller — Ranger Jones"

"Tom Cavanagh — Ranger Smith"

"Anna Faris — Rachel"

"Justin Timberlake — Voice of Boo-Boo"

"Dan Aykroyd — Voice of Yogi Bear"

"No bears were harmed in the making of this movie."

"All great things come in Bears."

"Please do not feed the bears."

"[closing lines] Ah, yes, Jellystone Park. A wonderful little piece of paradise, where families come and soak up the tranquility of nature. It's a place that-- [suddenly, some bushes rustle] Huh? [each of the picnic tables get dragged away by each rope attached to them] Never mind."

"[first lines] Jellystone Park. One of the nation's oldest and most beautiful stretches of wilderness. For years, families have headed out from the busy city, eager to enjoy a little camping, fishing, and, of course, observing the park's natural wildlife. (I think.)"

"(hopping on a zipline) Well y'know, Boo Boo, I'm smarter than the average bear!"

"You think I care about what the law says? Hmm? Or about some endangered "frog-mouthed turtle?" Or some stupid park for families to have a picnic in? No. I care about power, you pinheads! And I'm gonna get it. Nobody knows this turtle exists. And nobody ever will."

"Yogi, we've been over this many times. Bears are supposed to avoid people, not run around stealing their food."

"[after he and Yogi hear Ranger Smith coming] It's Mr. Ranger!"

"[teaser trailer] Nice day for a pic-a-nic?"

"This is your captain speaking. We'll reach our turtle target in about 2 minutes."

"I wonder if he noticed the pie."

"Did you check the safety manual!"

"I'm so smart and it hurts."

"I can't take it, Boo Boo! Two days without a tasty treat to eat, and I have to sit up here while they're having a "Happy Birthday, Jellystone" party! (sniffs) And they have donuts... DONUTS!"

"Hello, Mr. Ranger, sir."

"Original score composed by John Debney."

"[from trailer] On December 17th."