The King of Staten Island

"We're like the only place that New Jersey looks down on."

"Oh I trained her in the car. She's not going to break."

"You're going to make me babysit your kids?! I'm on drugs."

"If you have money, why would you ever live in Staten Island?"

"I just thought she looked really good in those pants. Thought that was a nice thing to say, I didn't know I'd get MeToo'd for it."

"When we go out in public, people look at me like I'm kidnapped."

"I regret my friendship with you guys."

"Thanks for the sex. It was wonderful until you started talking."

"You look a little like Antonio Banderas, if I squint my eyes a bit."

"Your dad was a hero, and heroes are necessary, and they should be allowed to have families."

"I haven't been high in a while but I still do it, I like that lifestyle."

"Obama ain't right. You got Obama wrong. Ain't nothing worse than that."

"You don't get to act all crazy your entire life because Dad died."

"Pete Davidson as Scott Carlin"

"Bel Powley as Kelsey"

"Ricky Velez as Oscar"

"Lou Wilson as Richie"

"Moises Arias as Igor"

"Carly Aquilino as Tara"

"Marisa Tomei as Margie Carlin"

"Maude Apatow as Claire Carlin"

"Bill Burr as Ray Bishop"

"Robert Vidal III as Jimmy Bags' Brother"

"Angus Costello as Kid Who Vomits"

"Pauline Chalamet as Joanne"

"Lynne Koplitz as Joy"

"Joseph Paul Kennedy as Todd"

"Colson Baker as Tattoo Shop Owner"

"Anthony Lee Medina as Jake; Kelsey's Tinder Date"

"Luke David Blumm as Harold"