Osmosis Jones

"Oh, that's my daughter Shane. She won't buy me deodorant anymore. She says it causes cancer."

"I said I was gonna think about it. It's a holiday weekend. The important thing is that we're together, right?"

"Please, we can't do that. She's been humiliated enough already."

"Were you thinking about me when you packed me a fried Slim Jim sandwich for lunch?"

"Let me take a look at that, Dad. Open wide. Open wide. Ahh."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"So, Dad, what's the big surprise?"

"I'm going camping with my friends. You're welcome to join us."

"No! No, Dad, it's me, Shane."

"Well, use your imagination."

"Listen, why don't you sit her down and tell her that if anything ever happens to you, I will take care of her, okay? I will raise her, I will nurture her, I will love her, and then when she's 16, I'll boot her out the door."

"Hey, Shane, how about a hug for your Uncle Bob? [Shane walks out of the house] Okay, nice talking to you, too. [Frank burps] Hey, muscles! You don't look so good."

"Outta town? I'm not getting outta my bathrobe. I'm just gonna wheel a keg into the living room and plop myself down on the sofa in front of the TV. You know, spend a little quality time with the wife and kids."

"Um, sweetheart, have you ever seen a rattlesnake swallow a football?"

"Shirley. My daughter's name is Shirley."

"Frank, it's a pleasure to meet you. I am Mrs. Boyd. I am Shane's science and P.E. teacher."

"GET OUT! OUT! THE ANSWER IS NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

"[laughing] Oh, my God. Ha-ha! That was so funny! Oh, my God, I've got the giggles."

"What a zit. I mean, what is it? What is it? What do you want?"

"[last words] SHANE!!"

"He's one cell of a guy."

"He's one cell of a guy and his partner's a real pill."

"Every body needs a hero."

"Chris Rock — Osmosis "Ozzy" Jones"

"Laurence Fishburne — Thrax"

"David Hyde Pierce — Drixenol "Drix" Koldreliff"

"Brandy Norwood — Leah Estrogen"

"William Shatner — Mayor Phlegmming"

"Ron Howard — Tom Colonic"

"Joel Silver — Chief (uncredited)"

"Kenny Olson"

"Jimmie "Bones" Trombly"

"Stefanie Eulinberg"

"Jimmie Bones"

"Uncle Kracker"

"Jonathan Adams — Tom"

"Joseph Ashton — Billy"

"Carlos Alazraqui — Spanish Germ"

"Keith Anthony — Barkeep"

"Eddie Barth — Conducter"

"Jeff Bennett — Handmouth Germ"

"Sally Brooks — Brain Cell"

"Rodger Bumpass — Announcer of Nerve News Network and Joe Cramp"

"Michael Carven — Red Blood Cell"

"Paul Christie — Dan Matter and Germ"

"Janis Dardaris — Red Blood Cell Nurse"

"Wendy Dillon — Singer"

"Antonio Fargas — Chill"

"Eddie Frierson — Police Officer at Frank Police Department"

"Donald Fullilove — Doughnut"