Osmosis Jones

"Money ain't gonna be your biggest problem if you don't tell me what you know about the sinuses."

"In the words of the immortal James Brown GET DOWN!"

"Well, you dealin' with a white blood cell here!"

"You want Osmosis? You got Osmosis!"

"That's Chill. He's a flu shot."

"Just as long as it doesn't hit 108 degrees, or Frank's daughter's an orphan."

"Study? When you grow up on the wrong side of the digestive track, you ain't got no money for no fancy schools."

"It's just the way I like it: Extra disgusting."

"Great, got me a college boy."

"Special Agent Drixobenzometaphedrimine. Drixenol! The brand that eases your coughs and sneezes. Warning - do not exceed recommended dosage. If symptoms persist, consult a physician. May cause drowsiness. Do not attempt to operate heavy machinery. Pregnant women should not handle broken tablets."

"My, what big zits he has. How does this happen?"

"That's my effervescent propulsion."

"OK, please, you're going to make me vomit!"

"Virus con Dios!"

"James who?"

"I'd like to examine your irritated areas."

"Funny. He doesn't look fluish."

"Sir, he was a lethal virus."

"This here little D.N.A. bead comes from a little girl in Riverside, California, didn't like to wash her hands. Took me three whole weeks. And this one, nice lady in Detroit, Mowtown, six days flat. And there's this old guy in Philly. I killed him in 72 hours. Yeah, I'm getting better as I go along, baby, but the problem is I never set a record! Until my man Frank that is. I'm gonna take him down in 48 hours! Get my own chapter in the medical books!"

"[last words] Can you feel the heat, Jones? [chuckles] Too bad you won't be here to see me break my record when I take down Frank's pretty little girl."

"Hmmm. Sounds like a gas, baby. Bring it on."

"Whew! this cat was sick before I even got here!"

"They're making this too easy! Hahaha! You know, in all of the bodies I've been in no one has ever gotten wise to me and now, for the first time, an immunity cell has figured out everything and they don't believe him!"

"Ebola? Let me tell you something about Ebola, baby. Ebola is a case of DANDRUFF compared to me!"

"Careful. I'm contagious."

"Okay, Frank. This is your, um, conscience speaking. Now listen carefully. This hiking trip means the world to her. Figure out a way to make it work. Use that charm."

"Jones! Oh, thank Frank!"

"Sir, he's got a point. When I came to work for you, you promised you would concentrate more on health issues."

"Come here, baby. I'm still Jonesin' for a little more Osmosis."

"You care more about your stupid re-election than you care about all our lives. Something's going on and I'm going to the hypothalamus to check it out."

"There will be plenty of new jobs for everyone on the back."

"I propose something that every organism in this city will enjoy. I give you a dream vacation to the annual chicken wing festival in Buffalo, New York! Final plans have been made and nothing is going to stand in our way!"

"See, I told you she'd be excited. Now, tidy up, will you? Here we go."

"We're probably just drinking some hot coffee."

"Can you believe those lies?"

"Good evening, citizens of Frank. In the past few weeks of the campaign, my opponent has thrown around a lot of fancy words to try to confuse the issues. Words like "exercise," "low-fat," and "diet" - words designed to scare us into changing what has worked for so many years. Well, I say let's stay the course. Remember, a fat Frank is a happy Frank."

"Son, do me a favor and read what it says on your arm?"

"Thank you, Leah. Now get me the chief on the phone. There's a good girl."

"Exactly! Temporary. You're nothing but a wannabe, a placebo, a generic brand. Marked-down, over-the-counter, useless Tic-Tac! NOW, GET OUT OF MY BODY!"

"The bowels. Didn't always smell this way. No. There was a time when eating right and exercise kept this whole area a vital center of activity. But during Mayor Phlegmming's term, we've seen rot and stagnation paralyze this neighborhood as well as the colon and the sphincter. Well, I think it's time we get things moving again. I'm Tom Colonic. As Mayor, I would set long-term goals that include ordering salads and eating bran. Mayor Phlegmming may think that things are fine just the way they are. But I think that if we pull together and put in a little hard work, A new Frank could be right around the corner."

"JONES! IN MY OFFICE!"

"Get that thing to the hypothalamus now!"

"We have a situation in the throat, and I'm putting you on it."

"Hey, Ozzy, can I count on you to keep Frank in shape? You know we've got that big insurance exam next month."

"Don't chiefy-weefy me! Have you seen the headlines? The papers are calling it the most powerful cramp since shane made us try that tae-bo workout!"

"It's all shoveled out. And the hippo's asleep. I'm gonna take Shane to Docky's."

"[after almost dying, but returning to life; to Shane] Your momma says "hi"."

"She'll be excited. She'll probably call you."

"Thank you, Uncle Bob. You're gonna love it!"

"Next time, I'll be the bad cop."