All Quotes

"And he gave it for his opinion, that whosoever could make two ears of corn or two blades of grass to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put together."

"He had been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers, which were to be put in vials hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the air in raw inclement summers."

"I said the thing which was not. (For they have no word in their language to express lying or falsehood.)"

"Poor Nations are hungry, and rich Nations are proud, and Pride and Hunger will ever be at Variance."

"It is a maxim among lawyers that whatever hath been done before may be done again, and therefore they take special care to record all the decisions formerly made against common justice and the general reason of mankind. These, under the name of precedents, they produce as authorities to justify the most iniquitous opinions, and the judges never fail of directing them accordingly."

"As learned commentators view In Homer more than Homer knew."

"So geographers, in Afric maps, With savage pictures fill their gaps, And o'er unhabitable downs Place elephants for want of towns."

"Where Young must torture his invention To flatter knaves, or lose his pension."

"Hobbes clearly proves that every creature Lives in a state of war by nature."

"So, naturalists observe, a flea Hath smaller fleas that on him prey; And these have smaller still to bit 'em; And so proceed ad infinitum. Thus every poet, in his kind, Is bit by him that comes behind."

"A penny for your thoughts."

"Do you think I was born in a wood to be afraid of an owl?"

"The sight of you is good for sore eyes."

"'Tis as cheap sitting as standing."

"I hate nobody: I am in charity with the world."

"I won't quarrel with my bread and butter."

"She's no chicken; she's on the wrong side of thirty, if she be a day."

"She looks as if butter wou'dn't melt in her mouth."

"If it had been a bear it would have bit you."

"She wears her clothes, as if they were thrown on her with a pitchfork."

"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."

"I mean you lie—under a mistake."

"Lord M. What religion is he of? Lord Sp. Why, he is an Anythingarian."

"He was a bold man that first ate an oyster."

"That's as well said, as if I had said it myself."

"You must take the will for the deed."

"She has more goodness in her little finger, than he has in his whole body."

"Lord, I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing!"

"They say a carpenter's known by his chips."

"The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman."

"I'll give you leave to call me anything, if you don't call me "spade"."

"May you live all the days of your life."

"I have fed like a farmer: I shall grow as fat as a porpoise."

"I always love to begin a journey on Sundays, because I shall have the prayers of the church to preserve all that travel by land, or water."

"I know Sir John will go, though he was sure it would rain cats and dogs."

"I thought you and he were hand-in-glove."

"Better belly burst than good liquor be lost."

"'T is happy for him that his father was before him."

"There is none so blind as they that won't see."

"She watches him as a cat would watch a mouse."

"She pays him in his own coin."

"There was all the world and his wife."

"Sharp's the word with her."

"There's two words to that bargain."

"Hic depositum est Corpus IONATHAN SWIFT S.T.D. Hujus Ecclesiæ Cathedralis Decani, Ubi sæva Indignatio Ulterius Cor lacerare nequit, Abi Viator Et imitare, si poteris, Strenuum pro virili Libertatis Vindicatorem."

"You beat your pate, and fancy wit will come; Knock as you please, there's nobody at home."

"I know nothing of music; I would not give a farthing for all the music in the universe."

"It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into."

"There is, indeed, no wild beast more to be dreaded than a communicative man having nothing to communicate."

"As love without esteem is volatile and capricious; esteem without love is languid and cold."